Sharkey's Place: "Sandra, the Queen Bee"

INTRO:
Sharkey's Place
by
Rick Regan
11/1/21
CHAPTER 1 : SHARKEY’S PLACE - NIGHT
Kirini and Gordon are the only two left. It is late. The
night is calm and clear, getting colder as the season
changes. This means sweaters, jackets, hats, etc.
Kirini is behind the bar and Gordon is on a stool at the bar.
KIRINI
Gordo, you’ve been here all night. You not fishing in
the morning?
GORDON
The fish don’t care about what time it is.
KIRINI
But what about you?
GORDON
Me? I don’t much care either.
KIRINI
I see. So another round? One for the road?
GORDON
Wouldn’t mind taking one, for the ride back to the
shack.
KIRINI
Harpoon?
GORDON
Scotch and water. Something to sip when I watch the
moon over the waves.
KIRINI
Sounds romantic. But you in the shack by yourself, do
you not have a shower or clean clothes?
GORDON
You haven’t been there, have you? I should take you,
so you can see.
KIRINI
No thanks. A smelly fish-camp, you can keep to
yourself.
GORDON
I live the life of a hermit, saint of the
crustaceans. My humble hovel, my meagre possessions,
and my sack-cloth and ashes, are my devotion to the
seas. I submit to the poverty, to the deprivation
because that is the only true path.
KIRINI
Path to what?
GORDON
I sacrifice my comfort - because the sea offers up
her bounty. The offering of my suffering, to Poseidon
or Neptune, to Salacia or Amphitrite, take your pick,
I am just the humble man who scrambles like the crab
across the bottom, for a crumb, for a crust, for a
lunch in the salty sunshine, sitting on my boat, or a
rock, covered in moss.
KIRINI
Covered in moss, who, the rock or you?
GORDON
Both.
KIRINI
Maybe more ice than scotch this time...
GORDON
Oh, it is no use, telling tales of the sea to
someone...
KIRINI
Some-what?!
GORDON
Not of the sea.
KIRINI
I grew up on Long Island. My family is Greek, all the
way back.
GORDON
How far back?
KIRINI
Back far enough to know that it is Poseidon and
Amphitrite, not those Roman interlopers. Greek to the
bone.
GORDON
Ah, sprinkled with the Mediterranean sea-salt. I
underestimate you, Kiri. That is my mistake.
KIRINI
So what’s with the hermit-saint business?
GORDON
I take from the sea - what the sea offers. If the sea
does not offer, I do not make my living. If I offend
the sea, or the sea spirits...
KIRINI
Poseidon.
GORDON
Yes.
KIRINI
If you offend the sea-god, then what?
GORDON
Then what am I? Who am I? What will become of me, if
I offend the lord of the wine-dark waves? I will be
ground into dust, feed for the plankton and shrimp,
as my bones dissolve in the water.
KIRINI
Ground into dust?
GORDON
But that is fitting, to feast from the sea, and then
to be the feast for the sea. Not ashes to ashes, but
from master to servant, of the lobsters.
KIRINI
Look, Gordo. Go home. Get some sleep. Neptune is not
going to smite you for sleeping in. But the Maine-HP
might frown on driving with a scotch and soda. Let me
drive you.
GORDON
No, I must make my pilgrimage on foot, as at Croagh
Patrick or Compostela, I should make the journey in
bare feet.
KIRINI
Bare feet? It’s close to a frost tonight.
GORDON
Bare feet, to continue my suffering.
KIRINI
Listen, put your coat on.
GORDON
Am I going?
KIRINI
I’ll haul you back to your fishing shack. Let’s go.
GORDON
But my prayers of penitence might be muted if I
arrive in a Volvo.
KIRINI
The Swedes are Lutherans, which is certainly more
pious than your devotion to the sea-god. Come on.
Kirini wipes down the bar, turns off the lights and leads
Gordon to the door.
GORDON
My piety may be compromised but my sacrifice is
renewed each day, in the sun, on the sea.
KIRINI
Come on, Saint Francis. You can renounce your worldly
goods in the morning.
GORDON
Well, you know, I have never taken a vow of
celibacy...
KIRINI
(pushing him out the door)
Good for you. Maybe you’ll get lucky some day.
They exit.

CHAPTER 2: SHARKEY’S PLACE - DAY - LUNCH TIME.
The day is bright but blustery. It is a reminder that the
real teeth of winter is on the way. But there is a good crowd
and things are busy.
MYRA
(from the Kitchen)
Fresh batch of chili, up for the specials.
KIRINI
(to Sandra)
Specials ready.
SANDRA
Let’s get ‘em!
(to a table)
The special is great today. How many can I get for
you?
KIRINI
(to Myra)
I don’t know about this one, My. I don’t know if
they’ll go for it.
MYRA
Just let ‘em have a taste and they’ll go crazy.
KIRINI
I trust you but I don’t know.
The door swings open and Aiden and Caiden come in. They are
the frycooks at a clam-stand in town.
AIDEN
(to Caiden)
I don’t know if we can get a seat.
CAIDEN
Too busy.
AIDEN
Should we come back?
CAIDEN
Maybe later?
KIRINI
Boys! Glad you made it.
CAIDEN
Can we sit?
AIDEN
You have chairs?
KIRINI
Got a table right here. Been waiting for you. Usuals?
She seats them.
AIDEN
Harpoon Light.
CAIDEN
Hot coffee.
Sandra swings by. She is in tight pants and form-fitting
sweater.
SANDRA
Hot and cold. Just like you two.
AIDEN
Sandra, I like getting an eye full of you.
CAIDEN
Coming and going, if you know what I mean.
SANDRA
No, I’m going to need a little clarification on that.
AIDEN
It’s just that...
CAIDEN
In this weather..
AIDEN
With that sweater...
CAIDEN
And those tights..
AIDEN
It’s not hard to imagine.
SANDRA
Imagine what? Doing my laundry? Making rent?
CAIDEN
No, it’s just...
AIDEN
You know...
SANDRA
Yes, I know what you mean, you chowder-heads.
CAIDEN
It’s just saying...
AIDEN
Just saying...
SANDRA
Listen, let me tell ‘ya, if there is one thing I’m
good at it’s filling the tip-jar, because the jar is
not going to fill itself. It takes time, takes
effort.
CAIDEN
It looks it.
AIDEN
Hard working.
SANDRA
(angry)
You saying I’m trying too hard? What are you saying?
CAIDEN
No, no!
AIDEN
Nothing like that!
SANDRA
What then?
CAIDEN
It’s just..
AIDEN
You’re an eye-full.
CAIDEN
Why we come back.
AIDEN
The food’s good but...
CAIDEN
You don’t get to look at a woman like you at the Honk-
‘R-Stop.
AIDEN
Or the packy...
CAIDEN
Refreshing.
AIDEN
That’s what it is.
CAIDEN
Like a cool drink of water.
AIDEN
On a warm day. That’s it.
SANDRA
(laughs)
You’re too much. Two specials for you?
CAIDEN
What’s today?
SANDRA
Wednesday.
AIDEN
No, what’s the special?
SANDRA
(teasing)
I know that. But I’m not telling. Just order it.
You’ll love it.
CAIDEN
But what is it?
AIDEN
Come on.
SANDRA
OK. It’s chili.
CAIDEN
I love chili!
AIDEN
Make it two!
CAIDEN
Good day for it.
AIDEN
Appropriate for the season.
CAIDEN
(suspicious)
Myra, she make it?
AIDEN
She got some goofy spin on it?
CAIDEN
But not out of a can?
AIDEN
No canned chili, please.
SANDRA
I’m just saying you will love it. And be surprised.
You want it? Two bowls, or not?
CAIDEN
You guarantee?
AIDEN
Promise?
SANDRA
Both. And - a money-back guarantee.
CAIDEN
But we haven’t paid for it yet!
AIDEN
Is it on the house?
SANDRA
If you don’t like it, Myra says it’s free.
CAIDEN
No risk.
AIDEN
No reward. G’head.
CAIDEN
Two bowls.
SANDRA
Coming up.
Sandra delivers the order to the kitchen and takes a tray of
drinks to another table.
Kirini comes by to visit the boys.
KIRINI
Aiden. Caiden. How are you now?
AIDEN
Kiri, always good to see you.
KIRINI
Good to be seen.
CAIDEN
Even better to see Sandra.
KIRINI
Yeah, that outfit, it’s something on a cold day. I
don’t know if she puts those tights on with Krylonspray or some kind of dipping method. I’ll ask her.
AIDEN
This cold. That wind, cuts right though you.
CAIDEN
But she’s a welcome sight.
AIDEN
For sore eyes.
KIRINI
Sore eyes, or hungry eyes?
CAIDEN
Well...
AIDEN
A welcome sight anyhow. You can tell it’s cold.
KIRINI
Enough! What did you order? The chili? It’s good.
CAIDEN
You wouldn’t think a bowl of chili would have a hint
of mystery.
AIDEN
But Sandra has it cloaked.
CAIDEN
Veiled...
AIDEN
In secrecy.
KIRINI
Well, money back if you don’t like it.
CAIDEN
But we haven’t paid yet!
KIRINI
That’s right! So, another beer?
AIDEN
I’d take a beer.
CAIDEN
I’d take a beer.
KIRINI
Two cold Harpoons, coming up.
Kirini goes to fetch the bottles out of the cooler.
Sandra comes by with the soup.
SANDRA
Hot chili. One. Two.
AIDEN
What is this?
CAIDEN
It’s black.
AIDEN
Is this chili?
CAIDEN
Is this soup?
SANDRA
Money back if you don’t like it.
AIDEN
(doubtful)
Let’s see.
He sniffs a spoonful and then tastes gingerly.
CAIDEN
So? What?
AIDEN
I don’t understand.
CAIDEN
(tasting)
Mmmm! Wait? What is that? Mushrooms?
AIDEN
It’s like, a forest floor.
CAIDEN
Like a cow pasture...
AIDEN
In the spring, with a clover bloom.
CAIDEN
And the manure and the rain. All of it. And blood.
AIDEN
It’s marrow. It’s marrow? Is it?
CAIDEN
Like the rain that gathers in a hoofprint, from the
ponies of the Mongols...
AIDEN
Yeah, on the Hungarian plains.
CAIDEN
That’s it. Hungarian. Like rainwater.
AIDEN
In a hoofprint.
KIRINI
Wait, what?
SANDRA
Myra! Myra, come out here. They are saying things
about your soup.
Myra pokes her head out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on
an apron. She storms out and charges towards their table.
MYRA
What’s the matter with you two? You insulting my
soup?
AIDEN
No! No, It’s just...
CAIDEN
She said chili.
AIDEN
I don’t know if this is chili.
CAIDEN
But I can’t say it’s not-chili.
AIDEN
It is mysterious.
CAIDEN
Quite quizzical. What’s the secret?
MYRA
Secret? No secret.
AIDEN
Then what is it?
MYRA
It’s chili. Lamb stock. Fresh mushrooms. Paprika.
Onion. You know the rest. But the simmering, twelve
hours, that’s tricky. And using the chocolate in
soup, is new to me. I think, plenty of flavor, but
not too much, and a good match for a cold beer. Good
for you, you connoisseurs.
CAIDEN
Lamb stock. Didn’t expect that.
AIDEN
And mushrooms instead of hamburger?
MYRA
You like it?
CAIDEN
I don’t know. I’m so confused.
AIDEN
It’s like, there is so much flavor, I can’t even
taste it all.
CAIDEN
Like when you have champagne and sip it, and think, I
don’t know. I don’t know if I really taste the
apricot, or if it is just the suggestion from the
review in Wine Advocate.
Everyone stops and looks at Caiden.
MYRA
Look, if you don’t like it, no charge. I’ll just take
the plates back.
AIDEN
No! You can’t have it!
CAIDEN
We ordered!
AIDEN
I’ve got to taste it again.
CAIDEN
Me too!
MYRA
Alright, alright! Eat it, then decide. I have to get
back to work.
AIDEN
Myra, you’re the best.
CAIDEN
The beast!
MYRA
Love you guys.
Myra heads back to the kitchen.
AIDEN
Amazing!
CAIDEN
I love it.
AIDEN
But do you taste the apricot?
CAIDEN
Ah, leave me alone. I like wine.
AIDEN
Sure, sure.
CAIDEN
Is that a crime? Wine?
AIDEN
Not in my book.
CAIDEN
So we’re good?
AIDEN
We’re good. Eat up.
CAIDEN
My pleasure!
AIDEN
I tell ya, I’d like to see Sandra swivel by again.
CAIDEN
It’s like a mechanical marvel,
AIDEN
How all the pieces fit together,
CAIDEN
And move,
AIDEN
In unison.
CAIDEN
Right.
They eat, enjoying the chili immensely.

CHAPTER 3: SHARKEY’S PLACE - EVENING
Kirini has gone home and Sandra is woman-ing the bar.
Gordon is there again, on a stool at the bar.
SANDRA
Did you have the chili today, Gordo?
GORDON
I was on the water. Missed it.
SANDRA
A shame. ‘Cause it was a real ‘beaut.
GORDON
Chili?
SANDRA
The boys were grabbing for the plates, licking the
bowls.
GORDON
Like animals.
SANDRA
Greedy, grabby animals. But we knew that of them.
GORDON
Why do you put up with them, Sandra?
SANDRA
Put up with what, local chowds leering?
GORDON
Not just leering, muttering suggestions, innuendo,
double-entendre. Suggestive things.
SANDRA
Gordon, look at me. You think I put on false
eyelashes so that I can hide from men? Come on!
GORDON
Those are false?
SANDRA
(laughs)
Did you grow up in a lobster pot? Yes, they are
false! Jeez! Men don’t notice anything.
GORDON
Well, I must say, there is a... ugh... lot to be
distracted by.
SANDRA
I know. And the falsies are just cream on the cake.
GORDON
And quite a creamy cake it is...
SANDRA
Captain, you like what you see? Maybe you and me, we
could.... Take a boat ride some time.
GORDON
Sandra-Dee, you know I am a married man.
SANDRA
Good one, Gordo! I saw you duck out with the Dutch
princess of the seas. And I have heard suggestions,
just rumors, mind you, that there may be some dipping
of the toes in the waters of our Greek fountain.
GORDON
Kirini? She is an upstanding woman.
SANDRA
If she is a woman, then she lays down at night. But
when Sharkey was here, it was a wilder time. Do you
remember that?
GORDON
Oh yes. Sharkey got into my pockets as well. Owed me
a thousand when he had his regrettable-accident.
SANDRA
And Georgios didn’t cover it?
GORDON
He never knew. It was a gambling debt.
SANDRA
He’d have covered it if he knew. Georgios would have
made it right. He covered all of it. All the
gambling, real estate loans and even tuition promises
for the local cop’s kids. Did you tell him?
GORDON
No, I didn’t want to stand in line and put my hand
out like a miserly banker, or a threadbare beggar,
and admit that I’d been fleeced by the Shark.
SANDRA
Well it was a long line, I can tell you. Sharkey owed
everybody.
GORDON
And you? What did he owe you?
SANDRA
Owe me? It was the other way around. I was out of
high school, living with a bad boyfriend. Couldn’t go
home.
GORDON
And?
SANDRA
And Sharkey put me up. Paid my way, gave me some
space, to breathe, to live.
GORDON
And what did it cost you, a pound of flesh?
SANDRA
No, it wasn’t like that. I was just a kid. He looked
out for me. I looked up to him.
And, don’t get me wrong, I was old enough. I would
have done it in a minute with him if he wanted. And
you know what he said?
GORDON
“Can I borrow $5? I will gladly pay you Tuesday, for
a hamburger today.”
SANDRA
(confused)
What? No, He said, Sandy, fix your relationship with
yourself first. Then family. Then a boyfriend. But
then, yeah, I’d have totally done it with him.
GORDON
But you stuck around when Sharkey was gone and
Georgios had the place. Why not head to Portland, or
Bangor?
SANDRA
Eh, why don’t you move your lobster pots, or be a
banker in New York? You could make a lot more money!
GORDON
Ah, well, you know.
SANDRA
Yes, I know. I had a place. I had a job. I was
banking some dough, for the first time in my life.
Sharkey didn’t pay much and then he stopped paying me
altogether. But Georgios, he paid well and treated me
right. That’s all I needed.
GORDON
I had a front row seat. I watched it. I watched you.
I watched him. I watched you together. And... you had
a good thing. I’m sorry you lost it.
SANDRA
We had some times, me and him. But, you know what
they say, in each life, a little rain must fall. And
one day it was just me again.
GORDON
And then Kirini shows up. And still you stayed. Don’t
you want to leave?
SANDRA
You know what? Kiri has made this place nice. Not
cheap or sleazy, like when Sharkey ran-cards all
night, or tough and hard, like when Georgios lowered
the prices on beer and we had crowds of cheap
deckhands. We made a lot of money but it was tough
and hard.
But Kirini, she’s made it a place where a woman can
feel safe coming in here. Plants on the window sills.
Light bulbs in all of the fixtures. Clean bathrooms.
Good, real food.
GORDON
Myra.
SANDRA
Yeah, it’s nice enough that even Myra, who we don’t
deserve, even she stays. But you know what, I never
had a place like that. I didn’t know you could make a
place that was nice, and decent, and pretty. I just
knew sleazy, and I knew tough, but this is nice and I
like it. I don’t want to leave.
GORDON
But what did you do after Georgios?
SANDRA
I worked for Kiri, you know that.
GORDON
No, I mean about a man.
SANDRA
Why do have to know that? Huh? What business of yours
is it if I have a man or not? Huh?
GORDON
I want to know!
SANDRA
Alright! So, I don’t know... a sailor here, a dentist
there. It’s all online now, you know?
GORDON
No, I don’t know. But nobody steady?
SANDRA
Why? You need a date? Well, welcome to the lonelyhearts club.
GORDON
Doesn’t it bother you?
SANDRA
Why do men always have to think about whether a woman
is getting it on the regular? It’s like, if a woman
isn’t taken, then she’s got a problem with her. Is
she broken? Damaged? What’s the real story?
GORDON
Come on, you could snap your fingers and have any man
you want.
SANDRA
So maybe I don’t want, right now.
GORDON
Ok, ok. Sure. But why the eyelashes? Why the get-up?
SANDRA
Gordon, do you see what I do all day long? I deal
with customers, men, all day. Pour beer, bring soup,
clear the plates, bring the check. And if a guy gets
a good look at a woman, he tips bigger than he does
if it’s Lucy-librarian in a grey-mouse outfit. You
get me? It’s money.
GORDON
But is it worth it? All the time, all the effort?
SANDRA
That’s my choice. Plus, I’m the queen bee.
GORDON
What do you mean?
SANDRA
Myra, nice woman, hell of a chef. We don’t deserve
her. But she dresses like she works in a gas-station,
boots, jeans, greasy t-shirt, bandana covering her
hair.
GORDON
She is in the kitchen, running the stove.
SANDRA
Agreed. It’s just that the sailors come back to this
place when I’m in kitten heels and a cowl-neck top,
that maybe slides around a little too much. They will
eat saltines for lunch if they have to. I’m giving
them what they really want.
GORDON
Sex?
SANDRA
The illusion of sex, attraction. If I feed their
imaginations, they will come back panting. And it
just so happens that Myra will deliver nutrition and
colorful, flavorful food. Which is nice.
GORDON
And Kiri?
SANDRA
Kiri! What a body, what a figure! Have you seen it?
She’s like a Greek statue of the perfect woman.
GORDON
Well, I wouldn’t know.
SANDRA
Sure, sure. Anyway, she came to my place one night,
to shower and change, because my place was closer and
she had to get back. She wears those baggy clothes so
you don’t see her figure but I took a peek and I
thought, that’s why, that’s why men will do anything
to see a woman naked. It was worth it.
GORDON
But the queen bee?
SANDRA
Well, Myra rejects the attention. Kiri knows better
than worry about if the sailors want to bang her.
She’s got to pay the bills, the taxes, the payroll.
So I fill the need.
GORDON
Nature something-something...
SANDRA
When I am here, the place feels right, even if it’s
full of men. Everybody can see that I’m the queen
bee. That gives them confidence, let’s them know that
everything is steady.
GORDON
But what about all the attention?
SANDRA
I like it.
GORDON
Do you just pick out a good looking sailor for the
night?
SANDRA
Or lobsterman? No, I don’t want to wake up smelling
like bait or clam juice. I keep what’s on the side,
on the side.
GORDON
Ah, the online
SANDRA
My business. What about you? You just troll in here
until the Dutch princess re-appears?
GORDON
I am a married man.
SANDRA
Ok. So tell me about that. How does that work, your
wife on the farm, you on the boat, when you are not
in the bed?
GORDON
I tend to my family, as much as is needed. A day,
here or there, on the weekend. But my life is at sea.
SANDRA
Could have fooled me. Seems like you are here all the
time.
GORDON
I am here, when I am not there, when I am not at sea,
and when I am not overhauling the ship. The days are
long and the days are lonely. When I am at loose
ends, I retreat here, to find the common
companionship of fellows of the water.
SANDRA
Or women.
GORDON
If available.
SANDRA
As I thought. So much for better-or-worse. Just
married when convenient. At least I never did that.
GORDON
Would you marry me? If I were....
SANDRA
Single? No, I’d never marry a man that was gone all
week.
GORDON
My wife seems to like it.
SANDRA
And what else does she like during the week, when you
are gone? The butterman, the cheesemaker, the hayharvester?
GORDON
She’s not like that.
SANDRA
No, No, I’m sure she’s content with you gone.
GORDON
She says so.
SANDRA
And no children?
GORDON
That has not happened.
SANDRA
But she doesn’t mind, right? She married a lobsterman
so she knew what she was getting, right?
GORDON
Something like that.
SANDRA
But I have to ask, why is it convenient for you to
come in here and spend all night with me, instead of
go to see her? It can’t be that far, can it?
GORDON
I am who I am.
SANDRA
And she knows you, knows who you are? I guess she
does. Hmmm. Is she pretty?
GORDON
Oh, lovely!
SANDRA
Really? What color are her eyes?
GORDON
Uh... green?
SANDRA
Brown.
GORDON
Brown?
SANDRA
I knew her in school. Lovely brown eyes. I can see
what you liked about her. The soul of forgiveness,
the hand of empathy and compassion. You lucky,
bastard.
GORDON
Lucky? Am I?
SANDRA
And her unlucky, to marry you. She could have married
a good man that would honor-and-obey, have-and-hold,
through thick-and-thin, in-sickness and in-health...
GORDON
All the days of our lives.
SANDRA
Or, you know, weekends.
GORDON
I never promised a rose garden.
SANDRA
Well just think on what you did promise, eh Gordo.
All those things, and more; hope, prosperity, family.
But what are you really giving her, but loneliness
and failure?
GORDON
My sins, I confess.
SANDRA
Oh, lash yourself to the mast! Right. As if that will
atone. How about get on your knees, in front of her,
and apologize? How about promising to be her husband,
not just a weekend houseguest? How about standing up
for yourself as a man?
GORDON
How about I go home now.
Gordon gets up, puts on his coat and heads toward the door.
SANDRA
Gordo!
GORDON
Eh?
SANDRA
Go, and sin no more.
GORDON
Good night, Sandy.
Gordon exits.
Sandra sits behind the bar, cleans up then turns off the
lights.
END.