Sharkey's Place: "Maritime Companionship"

Sharkey's Place
S1, E8
"Maritime Companionship"
By
Rick Regan
11/29/2021
INT. SHARKEY’S PLACE - EARLY EVENING
Myra is having dinner at the bar. Kirini is pouring beer but
it’s a slow time, before the night really kicks off.
KIRINI
It’s good to have you back, Myra.
MYRA
Good to be back. Florida is a strange place.
KIRINI
You had a good time though?
MYRA
I had a great time! Your aunt Linda is a hoot.
KIRINI
Where’d you go?
MYRA
Well, like you said, she knew every place, and
everybody knew her. We went to an authentic Spanish
place. I’d never been to one of those, with the
tapas. I mean, we practiced it at cooking school, but
the real-thing was amazing. All these tasty small
dishes, with beautiful olive oil, gorgeous tuna,
tender beans, lovely pork and tomatoes. It was
wonderful. And of course, they knew Linda when we
walked in the door!
KIRINI
Making me hungry.
MYRA
She was the real star. Especially when she ordered
wine and the guy comes over with a wine-skin, instead
of a bottle, and squirts wine into the glass on the
table. But he gets further and further away, so he’s
shooting wine halfway across the room. What a show!
KIRINI
Should we try that? With Harpoon on tap? You know,
spray it at the customers?
MYRA
That would be hilarious!
KIRINI
Yeah, No, Too much foam, I think.
MYRA
Then, like you said, the next night we went to a
strip club.
KIRINI
You did? You went?
MYRA
Sure, and we walk in and, of course, they know Linda.
So we get a seat off to the side, and we were just in
time for the evening dinner.
KIRINI
What did you get?
MYRA
What didn’t I get? There was this long buffet bar,
big as a battleship! There was Angus beef, there was
Cuban pork, there was Peking duck, there was Jamie
Oliver’s whole roast chicken with garlic and herbs.
KIRINI
Wow!
MYRA
And the salad bar was a mile long. Every kind of
fresh thing, and it all was immaculate. Perfect
apples, no bruises. Grapefruit like I’ve never seen.
Tangerines, Oranges, Lemons. The lemons were a
revelation. Just a hint of the rind, from a perfectly
ripe lemon. Amazing!
KIRINI
And the women?
MYRA
Ah, a bunch of glamour girls dancing on stage. But
then, the next day, we flew to the Bahamas.
KIRINI
What?
MYRA
Yeah! A day trip. We jump on a small plane out of Ft.
Lauderdale, and under an hour, we’re in Nassau. She
takes me to the Atlantis Hotel. It’s enormous! You
been?
KIRINI
Me? No, Never been.
MYRA
So many restaurants. We had sushi at Nobu. We had
clams at Carmine’s. At Poseidon's we had grouper
cheek - ceviche! The lime juice, so fresh. The
texture was divine.
KIRINI
Wow!
MYRA
A little nap on the beach, in a cabana, with our own
guy. He brought us an entire bottle of rum and some
sweetened pineapple juice.
KIRINI
You drink the whole thing?!
MYRA
No, No, And I told him, that’s too much! And he said,
doesn’t matter. They make the rum in the Bahamas and
it’s cheaper than the bottled water. They get the
water from Florida.
KIRINI
Who knew?
MYRA
So we get some conch fritters for the wait at the
airport and - zoom! - we’re back in Florida. What a
time.
KIRINI
Yeah, Linda is something else. She’s fought breast
cancer a couple of time already so now she just has
this attitude of, I don’t know, live life to the
fullest.
MYRA
Well, I really appreciate it. The trip, your aunt
Linda, the whole thing.
KIRINI
A good break, then?
MYRA
A break, but so many new ideas. I look at what I have
been cooking and think, it’s just bland, no color, no
flavor. I have to re-think my whole approach to food.
KIRINI
I created a monster!
MYRA
No, No, Same techniques, proper methods. Top quality
ingredients. But bring in the zing.
KIRINI
Don’t scare people away...
MYRA
They are going to love it. And they are going to
recognize it. Can I get papaya here, out of season,
No, But I can do more with scallops and clams than
ever.
KIRINI
Did she give you wacky mushrooms too? Because you
sound like your head exploded.
MYRA
That’s what it feels like, my head exploded. I have
to get over to Bar Harbor Books and get some new
cookbooks.
KIRINI
Well, Christmas is around the corner.
MYRA
Speaking of the holiday season, did Sandy ever do
those nudie pictures for the painter? Gordon
mentioned it to me.
KIRINI
I don’t think he’s all set up yet. She’s still
waiting for him to get back to her. But yeah, I think
she’s going to. And good for her.
MYRA
And good for him. You know he sells his pictures for
two-thousand dollars? Can you believe it?
KIRINI
That seems like a bargain. Maybe I should put a few
up in here. I could put up one of you.
MYRA
These deckhands and chowder-heads don’t want to see
me naked. They want Sandra - or you!
KIRINI
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Every woman is
insecure, made-to-be insecure, about ourselves. But
standing straight, looking right at the viewer, that
takes power away from the male gaze. The woman is
looking back, seeing the man’s flaws and weaknesses.
At least that’s what I thought, looking at his other
ones.
MYRA
Well, Sam the Butcher seems to like what I’ve got.
KIRINI
Myra! You naughty girl! You’re getting it with Sam
the Butcher?
MYRA
We’ve been seeing each other, yeah.
KIRINI
That’s so sweet! What did he say about your quick
trip to Florida?
MYRA
He said he missed me.
KIRINI
That’s nice. Well, if it means anything, we missed
you - a ton! The packaged, cold-sandwiches sold every
day, but everybody wanted to know when you were
coming back.
MYRA
And I’m ready to blow their minds!
KIRINI
That a girl! Good to have you.
MYRA
Thanks, Kiri. Listen, I’m heading home. I’m bushed.
KIRINI
Going to Sam’s place?
MYRA
No, just going home. Time for a hot bath.
KIRINI
I hear you, sister!
MYRA
Good night, Kiri. See you tomorrow.
KIRINI
Right.
Myra gathers her stuff and goes.
Sandra is coming in, just as Myra is leaving.
SANDRA
Myra! You’re back!
MYRA
Hi-ya, Sandy. Yeah, got in last night. You doing
alright?
SANDRA
Got the guns loaded and ready to roll!
She shows off her almost-fluorescent royal-blue, push-up
halter-top and peach leggings/tights.
MYRA
Oh, you’re gonna slay ‘em!
SANDRA
You bet. Fill the jar!
MYRA
Good night, Sandy. Happy hunting.
Myra exits.
SANDRA
You too, hon.
[to Kirini]
How we doing tonight, Kiri?
KIRINI
Just getting started. Glad you made it. Say, do you
have to get in a special spray-booth to get those
leggings on? Or do you apply them in sheets, like
Saran-wrap? You look nude below the waist. That is a
flattering top though, really shows off your figure.
SANDRA
Hey, I know what the boys like. And what they tip
for. Showing a little extra keeps ‘em coming back.
KIRINI
I bet some of these sailors wear themselves out at
night thinking about you.
SANDRA
If I am the stuff of their dreams, well there are a
lot worse things to imagine. Like getting swallowed
by a shark.
KIRINI
Dreams of getting swallowed by you might put a few of
‘em off of their chowder.
SANDRA
Always with the clam soup. I saw Myra’s back. Is she
going to be dealing up some good food soon? I’m sick
of these rope-pullers giving me guff about eating
cold sandwiches at lunch.
KIRINI
Sandy, you should have heard her. She’s got a fire in
her belly.
SANDRA
You mean with her and Sam, the Butcher?
KIRINI
No, not like that. She went to stay with my aunt
Linda in Florida. Well Linda likes to live it up, so
she drags Myra to a hundred different restaurants.
SANDRA
How about that?
KIRINI
And Myra comes back with her mind blown wide open.
Aunt Linda took her to a strip club. Then the next
day they go to the Bahamas.
SANDRA
Cheetah 3?
KIRINI
What?
SANDRA
Cheetah 3, it’s a club I know.
KIRINI
Where?
SANDRA
Pompano Beach. Georgios and me, one time, went down
to visit some of his “associates”.
KIRINI
Ha! Georgios, and his associates. I know where this
is going.
SANDRA
We had a nice time. I got to get all dolled up. He
met a bunch of the heavies, from Boston he said. They
would meet at this Jewish deli for lunch. Then at
night everybody would pile into Cheetah 3’s. You
should have seen it. Everything was comp’ed. Whatever
I wanted, they’d get it. Champagne, done. Crackers,
here’s a basket. One of the heavies wants a grilled
steak, a two-inch thick ribeye, coming right up.
KIRINI
What was it all about?
SANDRA
They wanted to lean on Georgios to get into some
shady stuff. But Georgios, he knew how to play ‘em.
KIRINI
What do you mean?
SANDRA
He made the case that he was more valuable as the
straight man than the pusher or the dealer. There’s
places for that, he said. You know what he means.
KIRINI
Like the Squid?
SANDRA
Maybe. Or the Honk‘R’Stop.
KIRINI
I see.
SANDRA
And Georgios, he told them, people expect some places
to be shady but look at this deli, he said, we come
here because we know that it’s clean, or we think
it’s clean. Who knows what the owners are doing in
Pompano Beach? But they are not mobbed-up. And
Milbridge needs a place that’s clean, more than it
needs another mob joint. You have to have a place
that’s safe. Because if you are passing an envelope
of cash to the cops, you don’t do it at the Squid.
You do it here and it’s like it’s on the up and up.
That’s what Georgios said.
KIRINI
[looking at the customers]
You think there is dirty business going on right now?
SANDRA
Kiri, the only thing dirty about this place tonight
is me! And I have to get to it.
KIRINI
You’re something, doll.
SANDRA
Ain’t that right!
Sandra goes behind the bar, gets a pad and pen, then swivels
out into the growing crowd of appreciative fishermen.
KIRINI
[to herself]
And let the wild rumpus commence!
Boots Morrin comes in the door. Everybody greets her.
ALL
BOOTS!
BOOTS
Hey, all y’all!
She comes in and settles at the bar.
SANDRA
Boots, good so see you!
BOOTS
Sandra, you’re an eye-full tonight.
SANDRA
Guns loaded! Fill the jar!
BOOTS
Happy hunting!
KIRINI
What can I get you, Boots? The usual?
BOOTS
I’ve been thinking of the tropics recently. Maybe
something with rum? Can you whip something up?
KIRINI
Sure. You want it straight and simple, like rum and
bitters, or something frothy and fruity?
BOOTS
Both. One each. Let me decide which I like best.
KIRINI
Coming up!
Kirini commences mixing, shaking and foaming cocktails. She
sets two different drinks down for Boots.
BOOTS
Awesome! Thanks.
KIRINI
No trouble. You working on a new one?
BOOTS
Always working on a new one. The Steel Trap.
KIRINI
Right. Set in Tahiti?
BOOTS
No, the Ca-ribbean.
KIRINI
That’s funny. Myra was in the Bahamas just last week.
BOOTS
Really? Your Myra?
KIRINI
Yeah, she was staying with my Aunt Linda in Ft.
Lauderdale.
BOOTS
Sounds like fun. Did she enjoy it?
KIRINI
Great time. Linda took her to a bunch of restaurants,
including a strip club.
BOOTS
Not Cheetah 3?
KIRINI
Wait, you know it?
BOOTS
I was doing some research on a story in South
Florida. Much of the unsavory action takes place at
strip clubs. So, for research purposes, I spent quite
a few afternoons at Cheetah 3.
KIRINI
Is there a Cheetah one-and-two?
BOOTS
And four, five and six. San Diego, Las Vegas,
Atlanta. You get it.
KIRINI
Oh, right.
BOOTS
It was the place where people go when they don’t want
to be seen in the daylight, like when a heavy rain
comes through and all the corners and low spots fill
up with puddles, even when the rain is gone. It’s
like that.
KIRINI
So what did you think of it?
BOOTS
It’s a strange thing, you know. It’s a place where
women go to expose their pelvises, to men drinking
Bud Light at three in the afternoon. It’s all kind of
strange.
KIRINI
Did you feel threatened or in danger in any way?
BOOTS
Oh, no! Never. There are big security guys
everywhere. But you know what? They don’t need those
because the guys that are there at three in the
afternoon, drinking beer and watching naked women
dance around a pole, they are the meekest, quietest,
shy men in the world. They wouldn’t hurt a fly.
That’s one reason I kind of like the places, because
none of the guys had the balls to try to pick me up.
It was peaceful in that way.
KIRINI
And the food?
BOOTS
Oh, Cheetah 3? The food is amazing!
KIRINI
Who knew?
BOOTS
I know, right?
KIRINI
You need more ice?
BOOTS
No, but say, tell me, there is a new man I have been
hearing about. A painter. You know anything? Is he
available?
KIRINI
Oh, yeah. Neil. Nice guy. Kind of cute. A real
artist, I guess.
BOOTS
Have you met him?
KIRINI
He’s come in a couple of times. He talked to Gordon
about using a boathouse as a studio and to arrange to
sublet Glenn’s apartment.
BOOTS
Glenn is gone? What happened to him?
KIRINI
Ah, Myra was on him about back alimony and he bolted
for Portland. I guess he’s got a better job there
though so that’s something.
BOOTS
Did he catch up with Myra?
KIRINI
For the back alimony? I don’t know. She didn’t say,
but she was pretty stressed out before she went to
Florida for a week.
BOOTS
Hmmm... That’s too bad. I liked Glenn. He is a
writer’s writer. I like to talk writing with him.
He’s got a quiet insight to his work.
KIRINI
Didn’t seem like it, since he was writing shipping
reports for some newspaper.
BOOTS
He showed me some of his stuff, fiction. It’s good.
It’s calm and flows really nicely. But he selfdestructs and can’t get a decent agent who could get
his work in front of an editor. Like a lot of
writers.
KIRINI
How did you break through?
BOOTS
For me it was always one-step leads to the next. My
purple-poetry led me to newspapers. That led to
writing about local crime. Then some terrible short
stories. Nothing published, of course, just
juvenilia. Then the first novel, but I knew a lot of
people in publishing by that time. So with some
contacts and listening to feedback, I streamlined the
stories, standardized the titles, “The Tin
Anniversary”, “The Steel Trap”, and all that. The
publisher said it would take three novels before
anybody would pay any attention but if I could do
three, then four, five and six would sell like
hotcakes. And now I am working on number eleven.
KIRINI
Yeah, Glenn didn’t do it like that.
BOOTS
He is one of the lonely writers, the ones who write
for themselves.
Maybe it’s good, or maybe not, but writers have to
write. Actors are like that. They have to be on
stage.
KIRINI
Yeah, I guess.
BOOTS
You know who succeeds on TV?
KIRINI
No,
BOOTS
The people that really, REALLY, want it. They want it
so bad they will to soap commercials. Do soap operas.
Be extras in crime shows. “Dead Asian guy”, or
“Flirty hostess”. Whatever. Whatever is available,
they’ll do it. And you end up as Mr. Roper on Three’s
Company.
KIRINI
I never thought of that.
BOOTS
So tell me about the artist. What’s his name?
KIRINI
Neil something. He paints nudes mostly, he said.
BOOTS
Nudes? Men or women? Or both?
KIRINI
Women, it looked like. He sells them to speakeasies
in Philadelphia.
BOOTS
Not Four One One?
KIRINI
What’s that?
BOOTS
One of the book signings in Philly, the store
manager, she took me to a speakeasy. It was called
Four-One-One.
KIRINI
I don’t know. Maybe that’s the place.
BOOTS
They had these peculiar pictures around the place.
Yes, of nude women. Fat, zaftig-types.
It was really strange, stranger than the strip clubs,
in that way. Because the pictures are art, are
decoration, but the figures were so direct. Not coy
or shy, like the Raphaelite chaste-maidens, or the
Rubens action-figure nudes. Just modern and direct.
That’s him? That’s the guy?
KIRINI
Yeah, that’s the guy.
BOOTS
I have to meet him
KIRINI
It won’t take long. He’s staying at the Red Barn
until he gets Glenn’s place sorted. He’ll probably be
in tonight.
BOOTS
Oh! Delicious!
KIRINI
Well, don’t speak too soon.
BOOTS
What do you mean?
KIRINI
He, uh... plays for the other team.
BOOTS
What? Give it to me straight.
KIRINI
He said he had a girlfriend, who wanted to have a
bunch of kids, like it was a super power.
BOOTS
Yeah?
KIRINI
And that’s when he realized he was gay.
BOOTS
That was it? Not before?
KIRINI
The way he tells it.
BOOTS
Hmm. OK. Well, we’ll see.
KIRINI
Right.
BOOTS
But something I wanted to ask you.
KIRINI
Shoot.
BOOTS
I guess, it’s just... why are you here?
KIRINI
You mean, in Maine?
BOOTS
Yeah. Why here? I mean, I know you inherited the
place but, hey, sell it and move on. Right?
KIRINI
Oh, well... It’s that thing, you know, where you’re
in between. Someplace between being someplace and
being someplace you don’t want to be. And Boom....
Something comes along..
BOOTS
So, you’re from where, in the City, right? How did
you get here?
KIRINI
No, it was Long Island. Brentwood.
BOOTS
Been there. Did a book thing there. Nice.
KIRINI
Unless you grow up there.
BOOTS
Why? What’s the problem with growing up there?
KIRINI
It’s not a problem of growing up there. It was a
wonderful place to grow up. I think about the kids
that had to grow up on Staten Island, or Queens. Ugh!
[shivers]
I don’t know.
BOOTS
Sure, yeah.
KIRINI
It’s just, there were so many people. Everything was
a rush. Everybody had their own issues. You know?
BOOTS
Yeah, I get it.
KIRINI
So Uncle Georgios dies, see?
BOOTS
Yeah.
KIRINI
And I grew up working in Omega Diner, for my folks.
BOOTS
On Long Island?
KIRINI
Brentwood.
BOOTS
Right.
KIRINI
And I bussed plates. I made omelets. I wiped down
syrup on the tables, every stinking table the syrup.
I served breakfast, lunch and dinner. From when I was
fifteen until I broke loose and came up here.
BOOTS
You went to college?
KIRINI
SUNY Empire State, in Riverhead, Long Island.
BOOTS
And you worked?
KIRINI
I came back on the weekends to work the brunches.
That paid for SUNY-Empire. A degree in business and
finance. I came back with a brand new plan.
BOOTS
What kind of plan?
KIRINI
The operating margin for Omega was razor thin. It was
a pass through to pay the staff - tuition, hospital
stays, vacation. And the “owners”.
BOOTS
Your folks?
KIRINI
Right. They had a deal to buy silver coins every
week. It was a way to show expenses without profit.
BOOTS
Where did that leave you?
KIRINI
Once I realized what was happening, I started to look
around. I came up to Maine to see Uncle Georgios.
Get away from the maddening crowd.
BOOTS
And look at the business with a keen eye.
KIRINI
I stayed for the summer, that was six years ago. I
could see that the place wasn’t making it on organic
revenue - basically sales of beer. But he was flush
with cash anyhow.
BOOTS
What was going on?
KIRINI
He had some “investors”, mob guys, that needed to
move extra cash through a clean operation.
BOOTS
And what did you do?
KIRINI
I told him, we don’t need to do that. We can raise
the price of beer, hire better staff..
BOOTS
Myra?
KIRINI
Myra.
BOOTS
And the crowds will come.
KIRINI
Right. If we can make it clean, then there is no
reason to look over our shoulder.
BOOTS
So?
KIRINI
So, two years go by, and Georgios is dead. He leaves
the place to me, not Sandra, and I have to get to
work.
BOOTS
Put your money where your mouth is.
KIRINI
Put my face in Sandra’s lap. She’s not happy that
Georgios is gone. She’s not happy that the mob money
stopped flowing. She’s not happy that I show up, Miss
Squeaky Clean, and want to flip the apple cart.
BOOTS
What did the mobsters say?
KIRINI
I told them that I want to run a clean place. If they
had business with Georgios, or Sharkey, that was in
the past. I am going to run a clean house.
BOOTS
And so you just, started?
KIRINI
Cleaned up the place. Started kicking out the harddrunks. Raised prices. Put in better lighting. Got a
new sign outside. And much better food!
BOOTS
So I’ve heard.
KIRINI
But you know what? Sandra is the engine that keeps
the train moving. She pulls the boys from all over.
She’s a hard worker.
BOOTS
Does she mind, you know that Georgios is gone?
KIRINI
You should ask her but it seems like she kind of came
into her own, you know, as a grown-up, once Uncle
Georgios was off the scene.
BOOTS
That’s a funny transition but I get it. But Myra, are
you going to lose her, you know, to a bigger place,
for more money?
KIRINI
Eventually. I’ll ride her as long as I can, give her
whatever she wants, what I can afford, and she’ll
have the freedom to pursue every nook-and-cranny of
the food landscape. That’s important to her.
BOOTS
Pretty good match, I’d say. Sandra too. You’re
running a good ship here. I like it.
KIRINI
Good to have you here, Boots. You make the place that
much better.
BOOTS
Well, in that case, I’ll take another one of these
rum drinks.
KIRINI
A Maine-Hurricane!, coming right up!
Door opens and Gordon comes in. His face is windburned and
his eyes are raw from glare on the water.
GORDON
Good night all.
KIRINI
Gordo! Good to see you.
BOOTS
Gordon, you are looking pretty rough. Come take a
load off.
He sits at the bar.
GORDON
Boots! How long has it been? A lifetime, it seems
since I have cast my eye on your firm frame. The
finest sight of my humble life.
KIRINI
Gordo?
GORDON
Except of course for our resident Greek goddess.
Incomparably elegant, Kiri. You have no peer.
SANDRA
[swivels by]
Gordo! Cold beer?
GORDON
Ah, the rush of loveliness overwhelms me! Beautiful
women before me, beautiful women beside me and
beautiful women behind me. The Sirens call me at sea,
but on land I am drawn as the moth to the flame, the
flame of the Sharkey’s women. A man counts himself
lucky.
KIRINI
Gordo, you been out in the wind all day? You sound
like you might be dehydrated.
SANDRA
A beer might help.
KIRINI
Harpoon up.
She pours the beer into a glass. Gordon downs the glass in a
single quaff.
GORDON
Ah, good.
KIRINI
[pours another]
Pace yourself, Cap.
GORDON
Right.
He sips this one.
KIRINI
Windy day?
GORDON
On the water, lovely water, from sun up. Traps have
been full all week. Hauling them up as fast as we
can, and get them to the broker.
BOOTS
Sounds like good times, good money, Gordon.
GORDON
The crew is finally filling their pay packets. I’m
catching up from the hot, dry-time earlier. If the
winning streak holds, we might - knock on wood- ...
ah, I won’t jinx it.
BOOTS
Listen Gordon, if you can cash up this month, what do
you want to do for the winter? You sail south for
warm water fish?
GORDON
Tarpon in the Gulf, is that what you mean?
BOOTS
Well...
GORDON
When Magellan rounded the Virgin Cape in 1520, he
started with 270 men, but only 17 returned to Seville
two years later.
BOOTS
And your point being?
GORDON
To steam from our beloved Milbridge, down the
Atlantic coast and round at Key West, well, I would
have to anchor and pay my homage to Big Papa. You’ve
been?
BOOTS
To Key West? Sure. I did a book signing for “The
Copper Conundrum”.
GORDON
Then, well you know the legends and lore of that
storm tossed coast.
BOOTS
Well, I’ve had a Rusty Nail at Sloppy Joe’s, if
that’s what you mean.
GORDON
Yes, there’s that. But I am thinking of the pirate
ghosts, and the slave ghosts, and the ghouls of the
miasma. The figures in the mist. The night-time
apparitions of demons, from the unhealthy swamp
gasses. Should I sail my New Englander through the
Straights of Florida? Verily, I am a simple fisherman
of Maine.
BOOTS
Don’t tell me you are afraid of ghosts? Gordon!
GORDON
When you have been on the water as long as I have,
then you can laugh at me, laugh at the ghosts. But I
have heard the cries of the drown-ed. Heard the groan
of the pitiful men, captured to be slaves, thrown
overboard in foul weather, as so much ballast over
the side. I have heard the chanties in the mist of
the lost ships, the men and boats never heard from
again. I have heard the crying wail of the un-loved
mermaids, swimming eternally to find a mate. And I
live to tell the tale, to be here today.
BOOTS
Well, alright. Surely there are more things in heaven
and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your
philosophy.
GORDON
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of
infinite jest.
BOOTS
Out, out! Damned spot!
GORDON
We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our
little life is rounded with a sleep!
BOOTS
Oh, ha! You have me.
[to Kirini]
A round for my friend, Captain Gordon. He has bested
me at The Bard.
KIRINI
Harpoon, up!
GORDON
Oh, you wicked lass. You would have me over-served
with wine and have me singing to you, on your
balcony.
BOOTS
Such a day I would circle with a red pen in my diary.
GORDON
Tell me then, do you seek companionship of a maritime
sort?
BOOTS
For you, Gordon, my door is always open.
GORDON
And what could I say to lure you to my den, my cozy
snug by the harbor?
BOOTS
You could say that you’ll get me a better contract
that I have with Chalkboard Books!
GORDON
Agh! Contracts, money, telephones. You keep it.
[to Kirini]
Kiri, loveliest, is my company detestable?
KIRINI
Well, after a few Harps, the smell does become
robust.
GORDON
That is because I am a human being. Flatulence is
natural.
BOOTS
I think she means the oration becomes gassier as the
night goes on. Best to keep it simple.
KIRINI
Ha!
GORDON
[gets up]
Then laugh. Laugh at the old waterman, lonely and
cold, smelling like the sea. This is the ancient
odor, from Ulysses to Drake. A man of the sea has his
privations on the water. And a man of the sea seeks
the comforts while on land. The cold beer. The roast
beef sandwich. A hot cigar on occasion. And the
warmth of women.
KIRINI
Such is the lament of every sailor who walks through
that door.
GORDON
And such is my lament as I walk away. It is a cold
night and, having no company, I will warm myself with
brandy, tobacco and starlight.
BOOTS
Breakfast of Champions.
GORDON
Good night, all.
Gordon puts money on the counter and goes out the door.
KIRINI
[calling after]
Gordo, you don’t have to leave...
BOOTS
He is like all of them, expecting a woman to...
KIRINI
What, comfort him?! Be kind?! What is it that is so
hard to do? Is it hard to be patient and listen? Is
it hard to be tender and affectionate? Is it hard to
be...
BOOTS
The one who’s loves labors are lost?
KIRINI
Is it easy to not care?
BOOTS
Not care? I care. I see that old goat and I do care.
I have written him into almost every story. Because
every story needs a man like that.
KIRINI
Sometimes life needs a man like that.
BOOTS
If you feel that way, you should go after him.
KIRINI
I won’t have to. He’ll be back.
BOOTS
And you will have a cold night, alone.
KIRINI
This is the curse of women, isn’t it? We want it too
much. Companionship. Affection. Attention. It makes
us look weak.
BOOTS
Kirini, you are anything but weak. You stood up to
the Boston mob. You stare down these leering sailors.
You are making it - as a grown-up, adult, individual.
You are doing it. There is not a weak bone in your
body.
KIRINI
Maybe. But sometimes it doesn’t feel like that.
BOOTS
OK. I’m going to go now. I will turn into a pumpkin.
KIRINI
Alright. Good to see you.
BOOTS
[gets up]
Where does Gordon go at night, anyway? His “cozy
snug”?
KIRINI
He has a small apartment near the harbor.
BOOTS
Left side or at the top?
KIRINI
Left. Why?
BOOTS
Maybe I’ll need it as a detail for a book. Good
night.
KIRINI
OK. Good night, Boots.
BOOTS
Left side, you say?
KIRINI
Right.
BOOTS
OK. Good night.
Boots exits.
SANDRA
You alright, boss?
KIRINI
Sure, fine. It’s just, I don’t get it.
SANDRA
Well, me neither, but I’m trying. Two Harps?
KIRINI
Coming up!
END