Sharkey's Place: Five Nickels for Poseidon

SHARKEY'S PLACE - EVENING
Sandra and Elsa Godspeed are working the room together. There are a stream of customers.
They move around the room, picking up glasses and bringing beer to the customers, all men. Elsa is in form fitting jeans and a pink top. Her hair is a casual but tidy ponytail. Elsa is nineteen, fit and healthy. Sandra is in gray and dark blue, trousers and top. Sandra is thirty-five, fit and healthy.
SANDRA El, beer at table six.
ELSA Got it, Miss Sandra.
SANDRA Call me Sandy or Sandra, but I'm no miss.
ELSAA Yes, ma'am.
SANDRA And no ma'am business either. Too many words, too many syllables. Quick on our feet at Sharkey's.
ELSA Got it.
SANDRA Two more for 4.
She hands two beer glasses to Elsa.
ELSA Got it.
Sandra watches as Elsa moves around the room. She notices the glances and some stares as she passes the tables.
SANDRA (smiling)
Well, the boys seem to like you. You're cute. That's a good look.
ELSA Aw, that makes me happy, coming from you.
SANDRA What do you mean, coming from me?
ELSA I've been watching you for so long. You are so pretty and you have such nice clothes. You always seemed so amazing!
SANDRA And now, up close?
ELSA No-yeah, you're great!
SANDRA But now you can smell the sweat over the perfume, and the beer on the floor. It's workin', hon.
ELSA I've worked. I ran the Tastee-Freeze for a year. I tried getting on at the Honk'R'Stop but Heather wasn't hiring.
SANDRA No, she just wasn't hiring you.
ELSA Wait. What? Why? Why wouldn't she hire me?
SANDRA Couple of guesses...
ELSA What do you mean?
SANDRA El, do you know where to get a joint in Milbridge?
ELSA (shy)
Uh, No, I don't do drugs.
SANDRA Heather, at the Honk'R. Biggest dealer in town.
ELSA What?! Why don't the police arrest her?
SANDRA You can ask the chief of police when he comes in. He's a regular.
ELSA The police chief comes here?

SANDRA On Mondays. But I'll just go ahead and tell you what he told me, that he'd rather know where it's happening than have it go underground, out of sight.
ELSA Why?
SANDRA Because he can keep an eye on it, and if there is a problem, he talks directly to Heather.
ELSA Like what?
SANDRA Say some kid from the high school is getting out of hand, petty theft, that kind of thing. Heather knows what's going on so she tips off the Chief. They go do their cop stuff and she eliminates a problem.
ELSA Makes sense, I guess.
SANDRA And here you come, walking in, wanting a job at the Honk'R. But she knows you're a good kid. You'd be a patsy in that place. She doesn't want to be the one who turned Elsa Godspeed into a drug dealer. Plus, you're smart. You'd catch on quick, and, eventually, you'd figure out a way around her, take business on-the-side. No, she's got to hire some dumb burnout that will show up for the late-shift.
ELSA There are always a lot of strange people in there. But what about here? What about Miss Kirini? Is she nice?
SANDRA Miss Kirini? Oh, she's nice. She's a real lady. When she took over, she cleaned this place up, got better food, new paint, wallpaper. The bathrooms are clean now.
ELSA That's good.
SANDRA She busts her ass to keep this place going.
ELSA But where's Myra? I thought she made the food here.
SANDRA She's out of town.
ELSA Oh.
SANDRA Don't know when she's coming back.
ELSA Oh.
Gordon comes in, takes a seat at the bar.
SANDRA Gordo, how are ya?
GORDON Oh, what wonders, what great glories! You have returned, come back home.
SANDRA It was fun but... you know how it goes.
GORDON Yes, the glittering skyline and endless diversions of the City, become, in time, just a smoky mirage. It is the pleasure dome of the lotus-eaters.
SANDRA Something like that. I got kind of bored of Alexi and, I think, he got kind of bored with me.
ELSA Your boyfriend?
SANDRA Yeah, and he's super-rich too. But even being super-rich is not that great in New York. There's still people everywhere, crowds all the time. I missed the quiet, of my apartment back home. A body can get some rest.
ELSA You couldn't sleep?
SANDRA (looks at Gordon)
Well, it was less about the sleep and more about... other things.
GORDON The metropolis is alive at all hours, so there is always noise. You understand?
ELSA It's hard to sleep if it's noisy?
SANDRA That's it. Alexi had people over to his place all the time. Parties all night, with vodka and cocaine. By sunrise the place was a wreck, with people passed out on all the furniture, on the floor, in the closet - if you can believe it. I'd straighten things up but then the cleaning crew would come in during the day and go over the place so it was immaculate by the evening. Then the caterers would show up.
GORDON Caterers?
SANDRA They'd set up the food and the bar for the evening, and it would happen again, every night.
GORDON I'm glad you did not get pulled down, into the depths of that kind of malevolent depravity.
SANDRA It was eye opening. I mean, we see drunks in here, like yourself, regulars.
GORDON Well, perhaps some immoderation...
SANDRA But these guys, it's like they live in a different world. It is the unlimited money. I don't know where it comes from, but they are all the time taking calls and then challenging each other with shots of vodka.
ELSA Were there other ladies?
SANDRA Other ladies? That's cute. Yes, there were women, lots of women. All beautiful. All skinny. All with perfect hair and nails, and all couture, and amazing shoes. But they only show up once. The next time, there is a new girl. I don't know where these girls come from. Russians, Czechs, Poles, like there is an endless-supply. A lot of them didn't speak any English. They just talked to each other in Russian, like a flock of birds, while the men stand around putting away vodka like it was ice-water.
ELSA What kind of food? I bet it was really good.
SANDRA Nobody eats the food.
ELSA What? Why?
SANDRA The women want to stay skinny so they just eat cocaine. The men are convinced that Putin will poison them and that the caterers are probably spies. Which, I guess, they might have been. Anyway, nobody eats.
GORDON What about you?
SANDRA After a couple of days, I was really hungry. Alexi was ignoring me. The women spoke Russian. And the caterers would take away the food every night. So I thought, heck with it, I'll eat it. It was good. A lot of oysters, caviar, steak tartar, that kind of thing. I think the caterers hated taking all the food back so they just made it for themselves and their crew. Nobody seemed to care, or even notice.
GORDON Except you.
SANDRA What I noticed is that the men could be incredibly cruel to the women, always yelling at them, slapping them. It was humiliating for them, and for me.
GORDON Was Alexi like that? Did he hit you?
SANDRA Never laid a finger on me. But you knew, you knew that it would be coming.
GORDON Did you feel trapped? How did you get away?
SANDRA I took his helicopter. He wasn't using it. Dropped me across the street, the heli-pad for the Red Barn Inn.
ELSA He has a helicopter?!
SANDRA It's a company, a service. I just billed it to Alexi's account. He won't even notice.
ELSA So you left your boyfriend?
SANDRA Well, I told him I had to get back and look after some things. He understood. I think he was glad to be free of me. He'll probably drop in here, when he's lonely and bored.
ELSA How could anybody get bored in New York City?
SANDRA It happens. Have you been?
ELSA To New York City? No way!
SANDRA You should go, it's fun. See a show.
ELSA That would be amazing!
GORDON You know, the best way to see New York, any city really, is from the water. It's a river town. Take the water tour and you'll see the whole place.
SANDRA I did a boat tour of Cincinnati one time.
GORDON The waterman, that's your true friend. And... speaking of water, I find myself rather parched.
SANDRA (smiling)
Beer for ya', Gordo?
GORDON Like the refreshing spring rains, you are, dear Sandra, the bringer of comfort and joy.
SANDRA (to Elsa)
Kiri always says the first one's free for the Captain.
ELSA Why is that?
SANDRA (sly)
Hahd to say, exactly.
GORDON And where is our fountain of generosity tonight?
SANDRA She took the night off, on account of Elsa and me both working.
GORDON She's left Sharkey's in steady hands. Lovely hands.
SANDRA El, get the check at Six for me, would you?
ELSA On it.
SANDRA She's a nice girl, but she's young.
GORDON And how old were you when you started here.
SANDRA Eighteen, younger than her.
GORDON I was fourteen when I went out, on the water.
SANDRA But you grew up on boats, right. Your old man, he worked the traps?
GORDON That was my uncle. My father drove a truck, up and down the coast.
SANDRA Your uncle?
GORDON He was my father's brother. Years ago, you know, there were logging camps that moved around, all around these parts, up into Canada. A lot of 'em French, some English or Swedes. They went up, after the war. My Uncle Jim ran a crew and dad drove a hauling truck. He could put that thing anywhere, they said. Squeeze right between some trees, back down curving track, through any kind of snow. But Uncle Jim, they said, wanted to get out of the trees and back on the water. So Uncle Jim got a boat and dad just kept driving trucks.
SANDRA What did your mother think of all this moving around?
GORDON Oh, well, like the kids say, it's complicated.
SANDRA How so?
GORDON Well, Mother was from way-inland, up north. A tiny, old water-mill town called Milo. And in her growing up, the town was prosperous and families could make a good living, on the logging and lumber business. When she married my father, the last thing she wanted was to come down here, to the coast. But after a while, times weren't so good and when my uncle Barry moved down and got a boat, why it didn't take too long before she and my father made their way to Machiasport. He got on with a hauling outfit.
SANDRA And her?
GORDON I won't say it was the last time that I saw my father but I didn't see him much after that. And her, well, she found she loved the coast, and the water, and the sunsets.
SANDRA And Barry?
GORDON And Barry.
SANDRA Oh. I see.
Elsa comes back and listens in.
GORDON So it was, seven years before the mast, and I was taking the captain's exam myself at twenty-one.
SANDRA And look at ya now! All grown up.
GORDON Well, if I may, I suggest that it is you who have grown into a fine woman. I delight at the sight, of you.
SANDRA Aw, shucks. Another cold one there, Gordo? That one went down quick.
GORDON I believe you are reading my mind.
SANDRA Jesus! Spare me that vision of splendor.
Boots Morrin enters, waving.
BOOTS Evening all!
ALL
Boots!
GORDON Ah, Boots, our best-selling peddler of crime and terror.
SANDRA What can I get ya?
BOOTS No, Kiri?
SANDRA Night off. And we got Elsa Godspeed to lend a hand. But I can make you the Maine Hurricane, if you like.
BOOTS Well then, get cracking!
(laughs)
Gordo, I finished it.
GORDON What is this one?
BOOTS Five Nickels.
GORDON Clever. Go on then.
SANDRA Here you go. You say you got a new book?
BOOTS Five Nickels. It's about this woman on a cruise ship.
SANDRA Oh, I like it. In the Cah-rribean?
BOOTS The Ionian Sea, from Corinth to Brindisi. Bright, sunny, ancient towns.
SANDRA So what happens? She get murdered?
BOOTS She and her boyfriend have come to Greece for a holiday. She hopes he will ask her for her hand in marriage. On their stop in Corinth, she goes for a walk in the pleasant afternoon air. Strolling by the harbor she finds the Fountain of Poseidon. That one's for you, Gordon. Making her wish, she tosses a coin for good luck. But her luck is about to change.
ELSA Uh-oh!
BOOTS And not for the good.
GORDON Of course. A mortal should not insult the great sea god with spare change. Only total commitment, or doom. Hmmm.
BOOTS Like I said, one for you, Gordon. So the lover finds her there, by the fountain, and breaks-it-off. She is shocked and heartbroken. He is tough with her, callous.
ELSA Boys can be so mean.
BOOTS Then she sees a sign for a ship to Italy, leaving that afternoon. She buys a ticket, gets her things and boards for the afternoon sailing.
SANDRA Now we get to the good stuff.
BOOTS She is lost in her thoughts all evening. She cant' eat. Can't sleep. And in the deepest night, out, away at sea, in her room, she hears noises from the cabin above her. Maybe a quarrel, a lover's fight. Then...
SANDRA Bum! Bum! BUM!
BOOTS She hears a splash, in the water below.
GORDON Man overboard?
ELSA Or murder?!
GORDON What does she do?
BOOTS She looks over the side but it's dark and there is nothing floating. She waits and listens but she can't think of what to do.
SANDRA Nothing?
BOOTS In the morning she reports what she heard to a guy in the crew. He says she should go right to the captain.
GORDON Go right to the top. Good thinking.
BOOTS She doesn't want to bother the busy captain but she goes and tells the first mate, who puts her in front of the captain. He listens, nods and puts the first mate in charge of finding out if anybody is missing.
SANDRA Sounds simple enough. An open and shut case. Who's in the cabin above her?
BOOTS Nobody.
ELSA Nobody?
BOOTS The manifest showed that whoever reserved that cabin had cancelled at the last minute. Nothing in the room.
SANDRA No luggage? No swimsuit? Not even a bra in the sink?
ELSA Bra in the sink?
SANDRA Hot water. Soak for ten minute. Hang to dry. Saves on packin'.
(everybody looks at Sandra)
ELSA Yes, ma'am.
BOOTS Now, the first mate doesn't believe her. A silly, lonelyheart, making hysterical claims, for attention, no doubt. He sees them on every cruise.
ELSA (shocked)
They didn't believe her?
BOOTS They couldn't find anybody missing!
SANDRA So who-done-it?
BOOTS (with certainty)
The husband, of course.
SANDRA Of course. But how?
BOOTS He booked two cabins, but canceled one at the last minute, betting that it wouldn't be filled. He took his wife up to see it and threw her overboard.
SANDRA But didn't they find her missing?
BOOTS The first mate knocked. The husband answers and says, oh yes, she's fine. She's down at breakfast. Not missing, but thanks for checking!
GORDON Hang on. How did he get a key to the empty cabin?
BOOTS One of the maids let him in, for a twenty. He pretended he'd left his key and the cleaner opened it for him. He just blocked the lock with a slip of paper and it opened right up the next time.
ELSA Why did she go with him if she knew he was going to kill her?
BOOTS She didn't know it. She thought it, but they'd had rough times before.
SANDRA Why did she go up to the empty cabin?
BOOTS He had them booked in a below-deck berth with a port hole. A crummy little room. But he told her he'd gotten into a top-level suite with an amazing balcony and he had to show her. This was just the sort of thing he was always pulling.
SANDRA Huh. Go figure.
BOOTS Then he threw her off. Tied a fire-extinguisher to her neck, so she would sink, head-first, all the way down.
GORDON How did you solve it? What happened to the woman with the nickels?
BOOTS She brought the nickels to throw into the different seas or fountains she saw along the way. The Aegean. The Mediterranean. The Poseidon Fountain. The Ionian Sea. But then, she transformed, into the-detective. Watching everything, everyone.
ELSA And what did she see?
BOOTS I know what I see. An empty glass.
SANDRA One more?
BOOTS Of course.
GORDON Does bravery play a part? For the woman, the crew?
BOOTS Ah, not so much. Mostly sleuthing.
SANDRA That's the way.
BOOTS She watches and waits, until she notices that one fella, the killer, just can't leave well enough alone, and goes back to the empty cabin.
GORDON She sees him?
BOOTS Yes.
GORDON Perhaps he threatens her?
BOOTS Now you are psycho-kinetic.
GORDON More just psychopathic.
BOOTS He corners her in the cabin, threatens to throw her over.
GORDON But he is the aggrieved lover, unsatisfied, hungry.
BOOTS No,
GORDON Yes.
Gordon moves on Boots. He presses close, towering above her. She is tilting her head back, looking up to him.
BOOTS Maybe.
GORDON He wonders if she ever loved him. If she ever wanted anything more than a moonlight rendezvous.
BOOTS What could she say?
GORDON He wonders if she has murder in her heart, or compassion, for the meek and the mild.
BOOTS She says, things are never so clear, so black and so white.
GORDON Does she want him to be someone.... Something else?
BOOTS She wants to live. She wants to see the sunrise. Maybe holding hands with her lover, she left behind. Please...
Gordon steps back and moves back to his barstool.
GORDON Beer here.
SANDRA Comin' up.
BOOTS The husband made the choice to kill his own wife, so that he could be with another woman. But the crew are on to him. He tries to run, but there is nowhere to go.
GORDON Nowhere to go.
BOOTS As they close in on him, he shouts something about the Virgin of Guadeloupe, but nobody knows the reference and he dives off the back of the ship.
GORDON Swept into the props. Chopped.
BOOTS Done in.
SANDRA It's what he deserved, after tossing the wife into the sea. Served him right.
ELSA That's horrible!
BOOTS Name of the game, hon. Sandra-dear, a Re-up on the Hurricane?
GORDON Boots, these flashes of brilliance, the storytelling magic, is so... overwhelming... for a man of the sea.
BOOTS Gordo, I pitched you the Fountain of Poseidon. What's not to like?
GORDON Boots, you rend me in two.
BOOTS No such thing.
GORDON I am torn asunder.
BOOTS Life is not for the weak or faint-hearted.
GORDON I must go. As the holy monks found peace and transcendence in their caves, on the cliffs of Greece, in the mountains of Tibet, and the rain-swept lowlands of the outer Hebrides, so I should go, seeking contentment from the silence. Temptation is ever-present, but the bosom of the Almighty is warm in the infinite silence.
BOOTS You going to the Barn?
GORDON I go, as the penitent, as the confessor, as the pilgrim, silent and poor, approaching the simple glory of Poseidon below and Zeus in the sky above. In my humble steps, the only praise is what I can mumble, hum, and make time with my bare feet on the wet earth.
SANDRA You want a lift, Gordo?
GORDON Valentine has got me, through the nose, like a bull lowing for the herd. But I must stand away, stand tall, and move down the pathway to home. There, my rest is the spring of renewal and health for me. Good night all.
SANDRA You want a lift, there Gordo?
GORDON No, Again, I say, good night.
Gordon goes out the door, head hanging low.
SANDRA What was that all about?
BOOTS I guess he didn't like the new book.
SANDRA Boots, don't give me that. You and the Captain have been frolicking.
BOOTS Frolicking? I don't recall, frolicking.
SANDRA The man has a heart as big as the sea. And he's sweet on you. Do you have to carve out a hole, just for yourself?
BOOTS Sandra, you? You're saying this?
SANDRA Boots, don't give me that. I don't take any lip from you. I've been here the whole time. So've you.
BOOTS So what's you're point?
SANDRA Boots, look at me. You think I haven't thought about the Captain? You think I couldn't snap my fingers and have him wrapped around my pinky?
BOOTS In that top, I doubt any man could resist. Or woman.
SANDRA And I look at Gordo and I know he's just a man. He fishes. He comes here for companionship and beer. He wants the human touch, that we all want.
BOOTS So, he's a booze hound.
SANDRA He's not a booze-hound. He's a lonely man. And you chew on him like a spider. You take from him what you want, but what do you give him?
BOOTS Hey, Cookie, not all of us have it as easy as you. Maybe you can snap your fingers, but you know what? The rest of the world, the women in the world, we've got to have sharp elbows. If you know what you want then, cook, nobody is going to give it to you. You've got to earn it... or steal it.
SANDRA Sounds like one of your books. What's next, the Silver Slipper?
BOOTS No, Uh, let's see. After nickel is bronze. Probably the Bronze Shield. Let's see, what's that? Police? Probably a police-detective thing.
SANDRA Look, Boots, all I'm saying is, if you have some compassion in your heart...
BOOTS A big ask...
SANDRA Go after the Captain. You saw the state he was in. Don't let him go alone.
BOOTS Fine. Just make another Maine Hurricane for me. Keep it on ice. I'll be back.
Boots exits, following Gordon.
ELSA What was that all about?
SANDRA The phase of the moon. The incoming tide. Hard to tell.
END