Sharkey's Place: Story Time!

Sharkey's Place
Season 2, Episode 7
By Rick Regan
4/12/22
Rick Regan
Raleigh.rickregan@gmail.com
919-218-8834SHARKEY’S PLACE - EARLY EVENING
Kirini and Sandra are working the early evening crowd. The
place is about half full. Sandra takes drinks to the tables
and Kirini works the bar area.
KIRINI
So, what do you think of our fresh-faced new helper?
SANDRA
She’s a hahrd worker and a quick study. Why not have
her work nights? She could make more money.
KIRINI
One word: coffee! Did you know she taught herself to
use Myra’s coffee bean roaster, from YouTube? Now she
is hinting that I need to get more, better and moreexotic beans for her. She is so focused on the
roasters, you know what she said?
SANDRA
No, what?
KIRINI
She said, shhhhh, listen! Can you hear it? It’s
saying, ‘Feed me! Feed me beans!’
SANDRA
Well can ya beat that?
KIRINI
And I tell ‘ya, there’s as much money in coffee as
there is in beer. Heather at the Honk’R has had it
right all along. Sell cups of coffee to the boys in
the morning and take it to the bank in the afternoon.
SANDRA
You don’t say?
KIRINI
We’re making as much on coffee sales as we are on
beer sales. Lunch was always a loss-leader, or breakeven at best, but cups of coffee is a cash machine -
now that I’ve got... we’ve got, somebody to run the
roaster.
SANDRA
Gordo seems to like it. The boys from the Squid
usually come by. You think Aiden is still trying to
make a play for her?
KIRINI
You know what she asked me about?2.
SANDRA
No.
KIRINI
Myra’s son, Ethan.
SANDRA
Wait, Ethan who-is-with her sister-Bella, Ethan?
KIRINI
Yep.
SANDRA
That little tramp.
KIRINI
Hey, take it easy!
SANDRA
You don’t steal your sister’s boy. That’s not on.
KIRINI
I don’t think she’s done anything about it, and
besides Ethan and Bella are going up to U-M in a
couple of weeks.
SANDRA
They starting the summer session? In what?
KIRINI
Who knows? At a place like U-M you could study
whatever you want, like aquatic-needlepoint, or
Japanese Cartoon Studies. I don’t get it. They ought
to study something useful.
SANDRA
If you say so, but I’m glad that there are people who
spend their lives working on the strangest things. It
makes the world more interesting. And listen to you,
Miss Slinging-Beers in Rural Maine. Wouldn’t you have
liked to have a background in Russian history right
now, what with this war and all? Maybe we could make
some kind of sense of it.
KIRINI
Ah, you’re right, you’re right. It’s good to have
learned something. But it is also worthwhile to sling
beers for the boys in Maine. Know what I mean?
SANDRA
You know I was just reading one of Boot’s new novels.
I don’t know how she comes up with all of those
stories. The bad guy was so... bad!
3.
KIRINI
She’s got a lot of experience, with evil.
SANDRA
Makes you wonder what’s going on in that head.
Neil comes in. He is covered in splotches of turpentine,
lacquer and paint dabs. While most of the customers smell
like boats, fish and the sea, Neil stands out with the sharp
solvent smells.
NEIL
Evening ladies.
KIRINI
Neil, a favor?
NEIL
Anything.
KIRINI
Could you hang your gear outside, on the hooks. It’s
quite... ro-bust.
NEIL
Ah, yes, of course. My apologies.
He goes out, hangs up his coveralls amid the other
fishermen’s gear and returns. Sandra works the room.
KIRINI
What can I get you?
NEIL
A gin and tonic, with lime, I think. Something clear,
sharp, and with a few bubbles.
KIRINI
Coming up.
NEIL
Kiri, I heard you were going to set up a stage, for
music and such. Anything happen with that?
KIRINI
Here you go. Oh, yeah, we’ve got a fold-down stage
over there, and a new spotlight, mounted there.
She indicates.
NEIL
Oh, yes. Very good. So... no takers yet?
4.
KIRINI
Takers?
NEIL
No young women with big acoustic guitars, singing in
that plaintive style, about looking for some kindness
in the world.
KIRINI
Like Taylor Swift?
NEIL
Or Billie Eilish.
KIRINI
Alanis Morissette?
NEIL
Cowboy Junkies.
KIRINI
Indigo Girls.
NEIL
Avril Lavigne
KIRINI
Fiona Apple. One of my fave’s.
NEIL
Mine too. Tracy Chapman.
KIRINI
The Cranberries. Dolores O’Riordon.
NEIL
Sinead O’Connor.
KIRINI
Full stop. No Sinead. Not in here. Not in my place.
NEIL
Because of the Pope thing?
KIRINI
That was disrespectful.
NEIL
Yes, it was. And, I think, necessary.
KIRINI
No it wasn’t.
5.
NEIL
She was, in the end, proven right, about the priests
and the pedophiles and all of it.
KIRINI
But to tear up the picture of the pope, on TV. Nope.
NEIL
Kiri, you’re not even Roman Catholic though, are you?
KIRINI
Greek.
NEIL
Right. So what do you care?
KIRINI
It’s just disrespectful, is all.
NEIL
Well, you are right about that.
KIRINI
And you?
NEIL
Oh, they kicked me out a long time ago. I grew up in
the church, in Philly, but when they pushed so hard
on the anti-gay stuff, well, they pushed me right
out.
KIRINI
Oh, right. Yeah, I guess so.
NEIL
So, no music?
KIRINI
I haven’t really looked into it, I guess.
NEIL
What about readings?
KIRINI
Like Boots? Yeah, she said she’d do it.
NEIL
And poetry?
KIRINI
Um... poetry? Do we have any poets in town?
6.
NEIL
Well, not to toot my own horn, but I am myself a
published poet. Small periodicals, literary reviews
and the like.
KIRINI
What are you saying, Neil? That you want to read some
poetry on stage?
NEIL
Yes, that’s about the size of it.
KIRINI
Is that why you came in here tonight? To read poetry?
NEIL
I come in for the same reason anyone does. Friendly
faces, good cocktails, some mingling with the salty
local folk.
KIRINI
Salty what?
NEIL
I’m just kidding. I was in my studio all day, working
on the finish coats for the Sandras. I just wanted to
see some people.
KIRINI
So, speaking of, how much is one of the Sandras going
to run me?
NEIL
Well, funny thing. I am under strict instruction,
from the model herself. She wants me to burn them.
KIRINI
Burn them?
NEIL
Some of them. She said, one for you, two for Captain
Gordon. Then I have four for my clients in
Philadelphia. But the last four, she wants me to
destroy.
Sandra approaches.
SANDRA
Hello, Neil. How are you?
NEIL
I was just telling Kirini that you want me to burn
the paintings.
7.
SANDRA
Just the extra ones, right. Give one to Kirini.
NEIL
And two to Captain Gordon.
SANDRA
Right. And burn the extras.
KIRINI
Sandy, why? Why do you want him to burn them?
SANDRA
Because Alexi wants to buy them all.
KIRINI
So, that’s a good thing, right?
SANDRA
How is that going to work, if I go back to New York?
Nude pictures of me in every room. And he’ll sell
them, or give them, to his buddies. So then they will
look at me and see right through me. They already
throw away women like a half-eaten shrimp shell. I
don’t need them ogling me when I’m not even there.
KIRINI
But, I don’t know, is that right? Can she do that?
NEIL
Of course. It’s her image. If she doesn’t want it
used like that, I have to retract it.
KIRINI
Oh.
NEIL
But I am hoping to come back next fall and, fingers
crossed, maybe we can paint some more. Perhaps some
of you, Kirini?
KIRINI
Well, that puts the shoe on the other foot. Yeah, I
can see how you would want to limit the circulation
of your body.
NEIL
Image of the body.
KIRINI
Right. Image.
Boots Moran comes in and waves to the team.
8.
SANDRA
Hey’a Boots. What can I get you? The usual?
KIRINI
Boots! A Hurricane for you?
BOOTS
Hello, all. You know my weakness, dearest Kiri. Yes,
one of your Maine Hurricanes for me.
SANDRA
Are you celebrating something? You look like you won
the lottery.
BOOTS
Hello, Neil. Good to see you.
NEIL
Nice evening, Boots. You finish your book about the
killer, predator?
BOOTS
They are all about killers and predators. No, I just
heard from my publicist and Five Nickels is on the
Times Best Sellers list!
KIRINI
That’s wonderful, Boots! Hey, first one’s on the
house!
BOOTS
Thank you, dearest.
SANDRA
But you’ve had best sellers before, haven’t you?
BOOTS
Well it’s a funny thing, you see. Because now they
pretty much all sell about one hundred and fifty
thousand copies, give or take a few.
SANDRA
That’s a lot of books.
BOOTS
But it’s the speed they are interested in. I mean, if
a book takes ten years to sell a hundred thousand,
that’s a ‘slow seller’. But if it sells a hundred
thousand in the first ninety days, that’s a hit! Even
if it drops off after that.
SANDRA
That’s a funny way to do it.
9.
BOOTS
What they want to identify - and hype-up - are the
books that are going fast. They want everybody to get
the sense that everybody is reading it. You know what
I mean?
SANDRA
Like that Eat, Pray, Love book. All of a sudden it
seemed like everybody was reading that book or
talking about it.
BOOTS
But it’s still the same hundred-thousand or twohundred thousand people. Not millions. It’s the same
people.
KIRINI
What about that James Patterson guy? He sells
millions, doesn’t he?
BOOTS
Oh, Jimmy. Yes, he sells millions. He has his own
factory that churns out formula mysteries every two
weeks. He takes up all the space in the market
because of his murder-industrial-complex.
SANDRA
Really?
BOOTS
But what the editors know is that while Jimmy sells
millions, and makes millions, nobody who really reads
books - really knows books and is an informed critic,
none of those people read his books. He is selling to
a non-literary crowd.
SANDRA
But the makes-millions part. That would be nice.
BOOTS
I won’t lie. That would be nice. But, my fans love
me, and I love them, and ladies, I love you!
KIRINI
Well, timing really is everything because you are
about to hear Neil read his poetry tonight.
BOOTS
Poetry? Really? Where?
KIRINI
I called those people you sent me to and had them do
the work.
10.
SANDRA
We’ve got a stage the folds up. And lights.
KIRINI
More of a platform but yes.
SANDRA
Neil, I didn’t know you write poetry.
NEIL
Well, the way I feel about it is that I don’t really
write it. It’s just that sometimes some lines come to
me and I write them down. Sometimes a full poem and
sometimes just an image. I admit that it is as Truman
Capote said of Kerouac, That’s not writing, that’s
typing!
BOOTS
Ha! Yes, he was right on that score.
Gordon comes in. Neil orders another drink.
GORDON
My boon companions!
NEIL
On the water today, Cap?
GORDON
Above the water. Below the water. In the water. Water
ahead and water behind. I am the water and the water
is me.
KIRINI
How was the fishing?
GORDON
A good haul. I am just back from the broker.
Unloading the traps, weighing, measuring and trading
lobsters for cash.
Gordon pulls a fat roll of cash out of his pocket.
NEIL
Wow! How much is that?
GORDON
Oh, I’ll get some of it but I split it with the crew
in the morning. Pay for tomorrow’s fuel. Then a pinch
for me. Beer money.
KIRINI
Cold Harpoon for you, Gordo!
11.
GORDON
Ah, lovely Kirini, skin so fair and so clear. Eyes so
bright and lovely. And the heart of a lion. Bless
you, girl.
KIRINI
Heh! First one’s on the house.
BOOTS
Gordo, you’re a man of a poetical mind.
GORDON
On occasion, yes.
BOOTS
Well, Kirini had a stage and some lights put up, over
there. She’s looking for poets to do readings. Do you
have some verse that you’d like to share?
GORDON
As antique as it may seem, I prefer the old-school
practice of oral memory for the epic stories. I
remember them, all up here.
(points to his head)
SANDRA
Nobody can steal that from ya!
GORDON
And I recite at sea, the great sea stories, of
course. But also, the great Testaments, Old and New.
The legends of the great historical figures, Beowulf,
Gawain and Huck Finn. The struggle for Troy. The Art
of War. These and many more, I read, I learn and I
repeat.
BOOTS
With only the birds to hear you.
GORDON
And the crew. I try to make these men into ones who
aspire to the great deeds, the greatest deeds. Some
stay, some go. But I teach on.
NEIL
That sounds like a... uh... an edifying tour for a
young lobster crewman. Do they like it?
GORDON
When the story is gripping, heroic, I just tell the
tale. It is already written and I repeat it. If it
gets their attention, it is on the strength of the
story, not me.
12.
KIRINI
Say Gordo, how about you and Neil lower the stage
down. Sandy, help me clear that table. And we’ll give
it a try.
BOOTS
What about me?
KIRINI
You keep an eye on the bar.
BOOTS
Yes, sir!
Gordon and Neil fold down the Murphy-bed-style ‘stage’. It
folds down from the wall and makes a sturdy platform. Kirini
and Sandra swing the tables aside and make room, setting the
tables back up around the stage, to encourage people to sit
closer and listen.
BOOTS (CONT’D)
You know what you need? A rug, on the wood there.
KIRINI
A rug?
BOOTS
Yeah, for a little sound softening.
Kirini goes back into an interior office and takes the throw
rug off the floor. She puts it on the stage.
KIRINI
Sandy, can you dim the lights? I’m going to try out
this spotlight.
They all are busy and get the arrangements made.
BOOTS
So, Neil, you ready?
NEIL
Umm, well, no. I was wondering if they had things set
up but I didn’t expect to go on right now. Maybe you
should go first, do a reading from your books?
BOOTS
Don’t be nervous, Neil. Heh, that’s funny, Nervous
Neil. You are among friends.
SANDRA
What kind of thing do you have in mind, Neil? Like a
love poem?
(MORE)
13.
NEIL
Something like that. I had a thought while I was
working today, while looking at you in fact, and a
few lines came to me.
SANDRA
You write ‘em down?
NEIL
Nope.
KIRINI
You ready to go? Our first act!
NEIL
I’m not an act.
KIRINI
Well, show. Our first performer.
NEIL
I’m not a performer.
KIRINI
Dammit Neil! Are you going to go up there or not?
NEIL
How about a Green Lady for strength?
KIRINI
I’ll give you some Dutch Courage when you finish. How
about that?
NEIL
Alright, alright. Here goes nothing.
Neil goes up to the stage and stands in the light. There is
no microphone but the room quiets for this man on stage.
SANDRA
(quietly)
That takes some balls.
KIRINI
I couldn’t do it.
NEIL
(to the crowd)
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I know you didn’t
come out tonight because there would be a poetry
reading. You came for the cold beer and the warm
hospitality of Kirini and Sandra. Let’s give them a
round of applause!
(the crowd claps and whoops!)
NEIL (CONT’D)
(MORE)
14.
Now many people write poetry, on the side, in their
spare time. Lots of people start when they are young
but give it up as an adolescent pursuit. But,
unfortunately for you, I never stopped. I have a
couple of books of poetry on Amazon, which I
encourage you to buy! People read poems and sometimes
ask what they ‘mean’. I think it’s better to think
about poetry more like songs. We sing something like
Handel’s Great Hallelujah Chorus, with the voices and
the music swelling and crashing in great waves. But
if we ask, what does it mean?, well that might be
missing the point.
GORDON
(shouting)
Neil! Get on with it!
NEIL
Right! Right. Thank you, Captain. And to all the
captains and crew here tonight, thank you too. Now
here is a poem.
(pauses, then formally)
How did it begin?
We approached each other like lonely, fasting,
penitent hermits, coming down from our separate
hideouts.
Like distant planets, somehow we were pulled together
by gravity, until one day we were holding hands,
fingers entangled in the sunlight below the dome at
St. Paul’s, eager to explore the City, and the world,
together.
Overcome with the flood of affection, understanding
and love, beyond imagination, so bright and blinding
was the feeling.
Later, standing at edge of St. Stephen’s Green, with
the smell of new mown wet grass in the morning
sunlight, I remember the perfume in your hair as you
swept by, pulling me forward with the Bloomsday
tourists.
Now I can only hold these memories, like a handful of
matchsticks, in my own lonely darkness.
When I strike, and am blinded again by the memory of
you, and that lights my way, a little forward.
And maybe the light of these memories can get me to
solid ground, brighter days. And the mourning will
come.
NEIL (CONT’D)
15.
(looks up)
Thank you. I’m Neil Ruffin.
GORDON
Hurray!
(begins clapping)
The crowd claps and applauds for Neil.
Neil waves at the crowd and steps down, going back to the
bar.
NEIL
Well! How was that?
GORDON
Gloomy!
NEIL
Oh?
GORDON
“Fasting, penitent hermits”?
NEIL
An expression of isolation.
GORDON
Well, after that, I think the ones suffering are the
listeners, me!
NEIL
Gee, thanks for the support...
GORDON
Ah, no. Wonderful job, my boy. Brave heart, clear
voice and evocative language. Well done.
NEIL
Thank you, Captain.
SANDRA
That was really good. What’s it called?
NEIL
Number Twenty-Two. I don’t really worry about titles.
GORDON
What was Twenty-One about?
NEIL
Playing blackjack in Geneva with Sugar J.
16.
GORDON
Dreadful. And Twenty-Three?
NEIL
About the time I met Michael Jordan in Philadelphia.
GORDON
Ugh!
(Shakes his head)
Anyway, keep it up. Good work.
KIRINI
Got a Green Lady for you, Neil. Our inaugural poet!
GORDON
Boots, I imagine you should take a turn. Got anything
lined up?
BOOTS
Gordo, I do this kind of thing all the time. I don’t
need to do it here.
KIRINI
Come on, Boots. I got the lights. I got the stage.
You said you’d do it.
BOOTS
Well, I don’t have anything prepared.
SANDRA
I’ve got one of your new ones in back. The Nickels
one.
BOOTS
You’ve got it here?
SANDRA
Sure. Hang on.
Sandra goes to the back office and retrieves a hardback
edition of Five Nickels.
BOOTS
You bought it?
SANDRA
Well, you know, I’m one of the literary readers, that
buy your books. Heh!
BOOTS
(takes the book)
Well alright. Let me see. Here, this is a good one.
(MORE)
17.
KIRINI
You ready?
BOOTS
Now?
KIRINI
Sure.
BOOTS
OK.
Boots goes to the stage.
KIRINI
She’s a pro.
NEIL
Yep.
BOOTS
(to the crowd.)
Wow! Here we are. Milbridge! Give yourself a hand!
(audience whoops)
Wasn’t Neil great? I loved that. So... poetical.
Anyway! I’m Boots Moran!
(audience claps and whoops)
And I’m going to read a section from one of my recent
books, called Five Nickels. It’s the story about a
woman who goes on a trip with her boyfriend to
Greece. She’s hoping he’ll propose, but he dumps her.
Jilted and devastated, she boards a 3-day cruise to
Italy. And one night she hears what might be a murder
in the cabin above her. At this point in the story,
she goes to investigate the cabin above, the next
day. She’s been staking it out all day, and then she
goes in. So, here goes.
(reading)
When the coast was clear, Lily made her way to the
door. When she pushed, to her surprise, it slid open.
There was tape on the door latch. The killer must
have done that, she thought. That’s pre-meditated.
That’s murder.
She slipped into the sunny cabin and looked around
for clues, creeping softly, as if she might find
something dreadful. She noted blood on the corner of
the glass coffee table in the middle of the sitting
area, beyond the bed. The aqua-marine carpeting
glowed flatly in the afternoon glare.
BOOTS (CONT’D)
(MORE)
18.
She made her way around the room, finding little
except for the blood. She ducked into the en-suite
bathroom looking for clues. As she fogged the mirror
for hidden writing, she heard the door open behind
her and quickly close. It was him, she thought. She
stepped into the shower, behind a low green-tile wall
and frosted glass doors. Motionless, she listened for
his movements.
She heard him moving around, stepping carefully
through the room. Only now did it really occur to hert
hat this man had murdered that woman. She’d heard her
scream. She’d heard the crash against, what must have
been the table. Then she’d heard the splash in the
water outside her window. She was in the same room as
the killer. What would he do with her if he found
her, here, hiding in the shower? He’d have to kill
her too. She knew too much, she thought. Would he do
it in broad daylight? Would he keep her here, tied
up, and rape her until it was dark enough to throw
her over the side too?
She thought about Richard and how she wouldn’t be in
this mess if he had done what he was supposed to do.
Why didn’t he? Why didn’t he say that he loved her
and wanted to marry him? Why didn’t he ask for her
hand? She was a sensible woman, with her own means,
she thought. What’s wrong with that? She remembered
that time he’d brought home sleep-masks, the ones
with elastic that goes around the back of your head.
She’d told him that she didn’t need a sleep mask but
he said it was for the bedroom. How would they have
sex wearing masks, she asked him.
She was a sensible woman and didn’t need a mask or a
costume to be intimate. Why, once she had a blindfold
on, he could do anything he wanted, or swap out some
other guy for a kiss. Could she even tell, if he’d
brought in somebody else to kiss her? Somebody like
the tall, Greek foreman of the engine room, that
she’d noticed. What would Richard think if she liked
kissing the Greek as much as she liked kissing him?
Or more? She was a sensible woman. What did he
expect?
Richard had been patient and respectful in their
bedroom. He didn’t push her and waited to hear what
she wanted, which was mostly to hold hands and cuddle
close. And sometimes, occasionally, she wanted more
than that.
Lily’s mind raced as she thought of her current
danger.
BOOTS (CONT’D)
19.
What if he has to tie me up to keep me captive in
here until dark. Surely, she thought, he’ll have to
strip me naked, to eliminate the evidence for
identifying the body.
What would she do? Could she handle the brutal
treatment he would dole out? He would be like a wild
animal, grunting and tossing her around. Was she
strong enough to handle being raped by a merciless
brute? Women are made of strong stuff, she told
herself. What if he raped her and then picked up her
nude body and tossed her over the side? She imagined
herself in that moment, not on the ship, not in the
sea, but flying, arms out, with the wind cooling her
bare skin. This was the moment she froze in her mind.
She’d been a swimmer, so she knew she would hit the
water properly, and swim away from the boat. That’s
what you are supposed to do, right, swim away from
the boat so you don’t get sucked into the propellers,
like in Titanic. Swim away from the boat.
Then she heard footsteps approaching. The light came
on and she wanted to sink into the ground. She hid,
motionless, as the man ran some water, went out and
came back. He was cleaning the blood, she thought.
Then the light snapped off and the man went away. She
heard the door latch, over the pounding of her heart.
She waited in the room so she might escape unseen.
When it was finally dark, she unlatched the door and
went out. The tape was gone.
(looks up)
That’s it. That’s enough for tonight.
The crowd whoops and claps. Boots waved, yelling, go buy the
book!
KIRINI
Great job, Boots! Here’s a fresh Hurricane. You
earned it!
BOOTS
Thanks, Kiri. That was fun. Right Neil?
NEIL
Well, my thin beer doesn’t stand a chance against
your well-plotted pot-boilers. Good suspense.
BOOTS
So Gordo, you going to give it a go?
GORDON
You’re the professional, Boots. I am but a woeful
amateur.
(MORE)
20.
BOOTS
Oh, come on! Give us a sea-chantey or a Yo-Ho-Ho and
a Bottle of Rum!
NEIL
Captain, I think the crowd tonight will listen to
just about anything. Give it a go.
KIRINI
You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Gordo.
GORDON
Well, perhaps, for demonstration purposes.
BOOTS
That’s the spirit!
Gordon makes his way to the stage. The crowd applauds. They
know him. He waves them to be quiet.
GORDON
Thank you.
I’d like to tell you a tale of the sea, if you will
permit me.
(crowd cheers)
When I was seventeen year old, I signed on with a
tuna boat, a real blue water voyage. We left
Machiasport on April first, 1994. We returned in
November of the following year.
There were six regular crew, the captain, the first
mate and the cook. Two of the regulars acted as the
Marines on board, as needed. In a couple of weeks,
we’d sailed on down along the coast of New Jersey,
down to Virginia and rounding the Hatteras Cape. This
is known as the graveyard of the Atlantic.
We caught some good fish. We would gut them and put
them on ice. In the warmer waters, we watched
dolphins, sharks, whales and mermaids. Yes, mermaids,
it’s true.
One afternoon, late June it must have been, we were
clearing Fryingpan Shoals, off North Carolina. We
were a hundred miles off shore but there were rocks
and shoals all around. It was slow going, mind you.
And a quick squall overtook us, there among the sharp
shoals. Captain had us full-stop and drop anchor. He
didn’t want us drifting blindly. That afternoon it
seemed like the entire Atlantic Ocean was pouring on
our heads. But when the weather broke, there on the
nearest rock was the most beautiful
GORDON (CONT’D)
21.
mermaid I’d ever
seen. She had long black hair, thin arms and a fin
like a seal. I guess she’d come up to see what this
strange thing in the water was all about.
Captain ordered us to take up the anchor but Wally, a
Marine, shouted that he wanted to catch her and bring
her on board. Before we knew what was happening, he
dove over the side. We weren’t as far as me to the
back of this room, and Wally swam strong and true.
When he got to the rock where she was sitting, he
waved, smiled and climbed up onto her rock. She had
the most placid and serene look in her eye as she
watched him. And when he was on the rock sitting next
to her, he moved to kiss her. But she, the dark
devil, she grabbed the hair on the top of his head,
pulling him back and she bit right into his neck. She
chewed and pulled the flesh until his blood went
spraying out, his screams gurgled with his choking on
his own blood. When he was dead, she set about eating
him, there on the rock, just as a lobster might crack
open a clam and eat it calmly, enjoying each bloody
bite.
Mikey, the other Marine, shouted that he would shoot
her. But Captain waved him off, ordered him to stand
down. The other men grabbed him and pulled him away
from the sight of his comrade being quietly devoured.
With a cold command, Captain ordered, anchor-up! And
we motored away.
Tuna fishing is not like war. We don’t swear to bring
everyone home. We lost two more men on that voyage.
One fell overboard in a storm near Fiji. He was drunk
and I’m glad he was gone. The other was a hardened,
experienced crewman, a first-rate fisherman. He got
tangled in the line while hauling in a sailfish. It
ripped his arm off at the elbow. We stopped the
bleeding, landed the fish and carried on. But he was
too experienced to keep going. He knew we were still
in the middle of the voyage and a one-armed sailor is
no good to a crew. Dead weight. That night he walked
the plank and went to the bottom.
These are but some of the adventures and misadventures on that trip so many years ago. Lessons
learned and wisdom hard-won.
That is all. Good night.
The crowd whoops and yells, applauding like mad.
Gordon returns to the bar with Neil.
22.
NEIL
Wow. Really fantastic.
BOOTS
Great stuff, Gordo. Is any of that true?
GORDON
Heh! Well, you’ll never know.
KIRINI
Cold Harp for you, Cap.
GORDON
Thank you, dearest. Was it alright?
KIRINI
Couldn’t get better than that. I mean, here, in
Milbridge, Maine. With an open mike, we get dazzling
poetry, a reading from our very-own best-selling
author, and authentic seafaring tales by an actual
seafarer. Fantastic!
BOOTS
Quite a night.
KIRINI
Quite a night is right.
END