Sharkey's Place: Elsa at the open mic!

Sharkey's Place Season 2, Episode 8
By Rick Regan
SHARKEY’S PLACE MORNING
Kirini is serving coffee as people come and go. Elsa is roasting and brewing coffee in the back.
BOOTS Morning, Kiri. You doing OK?
KIRINI Me? Yeah. Why?
BOOTS Well, you know, word was, you were blue.
KIRINI Blue?
BOOTS Mmm.
KIRINI Like how?
BOOTS Well, no show at coffee. Not slinging beers. Just blue.
KIRINI And you know this how?
BOOTS Well there is a word for people like me, I think you know it, a regular.
KIRINI Don’t patronize me, Boots. What are you saying?
BOOTS Kiri, I should have come by earlier. Knocked on your door. I was negligent, as a friend, and as a regular.
KIRINI You can come by any time, Boots. You know where I live.
BOOTS That’s what I mean, Kiri. I should have come by. That’s what friends do. At least, in my books they do. In real life, it’s not as easy at it seems.
KIRINI So... coffee for you, Boots?
.
BOOTS It’s not about coffee. You know what I am driving at. You just don’t want to talk about it. There is a word for it: Depression.
KIRINI Depression? I’m not depressed. Look at me. I’m back at work.
BOOTS That doesn’t make it go away though.
KIRINI Uh-huh.
BOOTS Kiri, listen to me. I have been through the ringer. Ups and downs like you wouldn’t believe. And, when I was forty five, I just lay on my floor and didn’t move, didn’t want to move. For five days. If it was up to me it would have been fifty, five-hundred days. I didn’t want to move and I wanted to die.
KIRINI You wanted to kill yourself?
BOOTS No. But, I thought, OK, if I die, right now, I did my part. I shifted the load. I wrote the stories and put the books through the chipper-mill.
KIRINI And what happened?
BOOTS Not what, who.
KIRINI Who?
BOOTS Gordon. He saved my life.
KIRINI Gordo? Our Gordo?
BOOTS The Captain.
KIRINI What happened?
BOOTS He came to my door. Kicked it in because I had it bolted. He picked me up and took me to his house.
KIRINI The fishing shack?
BOOTS No. The farm. With his wife. He told her that I was sick and needed healing. And she did. Both of them. They got me up. Got me washed. Walked me through their garden. Cap took me on the boat. They fed me dinner and saw me to bed. Rinse and repeat.
KIRINI And you?
BOOTS After three or four days, I came to my senses. Literally, it felt like I was somebody else. And then, the sun came up, I went down for breakfast and I was me again.
KIRINI Cap? And his wife?
BOOTS I can’t explain it but it happened. I was slipping into the darkness of depression and he pulled me back. I can never thank him enough.
KIRINI But what about you and him, at the Red Barn?
BOOTS Usually it is crosswords. Sometimes we conjugate. But it is me, in need of him, in need of the rock, the foundation, the stability from the spinning world. You know?
KIRINI Maybe.
BOOTS Where have you been? Sandra said you were blue.
KIRINI I was blue. I wanted to stop time. I wanted to get off the spinning wheel. I wanted to stop.
BOOTS Yes. I know that feeling.
KIRINI And after a couple of days, I had to kick myself in the pants and get back to work.
BOOTS The place doesn’t run without you.
KIRINI But it does.
BOOTS Sort of.
KIRINI That was one of the questions. Myra wanted to open a new Sharkey's in Bangor. More customers, more money. Branch out. Franchise.
BOOTS And you had a panic attack.
KIRINI Yeah, I guess..
BOOTS And Myra took off.
KIRINI Yeah.
BOOTS But Sandra is handling things. Elsa is a good one. You did that. You told me, called her mother.
KIRINI They can do it, fine. But what am I doing? What part do I play? Who am I when Sandra and Elsa are handling everything?
BOOTS The brains. That’s what you are. Sandra and Elsa can sling beers all night, collect tips and close out the checks. But you are the one with the vision for what it could be, what it should be.
KIRINI But what’s that?
BOOTS I don’t know. Make it a Jimmy Buffet bar for all I care. Just keep up with this wonderful coffee and the Maine Hurricanes.
KIRINI But don’t I need more than that? Is that all there is?
BOOTS What more do we need?
KIRINI Leave a mark, a legacy?
BOOTS What was Sharkey’s’ mark?
KIRINI Just a splash, overboard.
BOOTS And don’t you think you can do better than to get tossed overboard with his feet in cement in a bucket because he couldn’t pay his gambling debts?
KIRINI He got over his head.
BOOTS Waaaaayyy over his head. But you, you have a good head on your shoulders. You are smart. You are funny. You are beautiful.
KIRINI Are you flirting with me right now?
BOOTS Kind of, yeah. But it’s just because I’m glad to see you back.
KIRINI Thank you.
BOOTS And I’m kicking myself for not busting down your door to come and get you.
KIRINI And take me to Gordon’s wife?
BOOTS Well...it worked for me.
KIRINI (laughing)
OK, Boots. It’s alright. I’m back. I’m OK.
BOOTS Alright. I’m going then. Thanks for the coffee.
Boots exits. Aiden comes in.
KIRINI Aiden. How are ya this morning?
AIDEN Got a get a runnin’ start at it today. I need the magic juice.
KIRINI Got big doings, have you?
AIDEN We are having a soft opening of our new seasonal menu. Perhaps you could stop by?
KIRINI I’d love to. Thanks for the invite.
AIDEN Wouldn’t be worth it if we didn’t have your imprimatur.
KIRINI Like Good Housekeeping?
AIDEN Better, the Greek Goddess Seal of Approval.
KIRINI Greek Goddess! Ha! I just wish I could get you back flipping pancakes. They loved yours.
AIDEN Anybody can do Johnnycakes and sausage.
KIRINI Elsa doesn’t want to run the griddle. She loves the roaster though. She’s doing a masters in roasting, on YouTube.
AIDEN Well, maybe flapjacks aren’t everybody’s cup of coffee. But this is good. Better than the Honk’R.
KIRINI As good as Myra’s?
AIDEN Oh, well. Myra had a special touch. You know, a chef’s sensibility of flavor and technique. She explained to me how she was doing a blonde-roast of beans from Yemen. But not just any beans. Special. Anyway, that level of skill is hard earned. You make mistakes, have success and more mistakes. Elsa has a ways to go. But, I will say, this is good coffee.
KIRINI I’m glad you put it that way, Aiden. You are right. Myra has a world of experience.
AIDEN And talent. You can’t forget that part. I have talent. She has talent. We could have done well together. Open our own place. In Bangor or Kennebunkport. But maybe she’s got to sow some wild oats first.
KIRINI Wild oats? What are you talkin’?
AIDEN She’s got to graze in greener pastures. Got to run the rapids, climb the mountains. She’s got to achieve something before she is ready to settle down and put roots in.
KIRINI And she’s going to do that with you? Aiden, you’re cute but Myra’s running the show at a big hotel. She’ll be in Boston before we know it. Then Manhattan.
AIDEN You think she’ll do her own TV show? Like Lidia and that Southern lady?
KIRINI I don’t know. Do you think she’s cut out for Tv?
AIDEN Myra is a talent, not a performer. Those other people want to be famous as performers. Like, ‘watch me make a six-egg omelet!’ I think Myra is, like me, exploring the culinary landscape, looking for new directions, new horizons. Don’t you think?
KIRINI Well, if you are doing carrots-pickled-in-Tequila, yeah, I think you are breaking new ground. And good for you. Milbridge needs your kind of new thinking. Say, what does Turbo say?
AIDEN Ah, he’s still mad that you stole Elsa.
KIRINI He can get over that.
AIDEN Is she here?
KIRINI Elsa? Yeah. Why?
AIDEN I just want to say hi.
KIRINI OK… Hey, El! Can you come out?
Elsa peeks around the corner and sees Aiden.
ELSA Can you give me a minute? I’m between batches.
KIRINI So there you go. You want to wait?
AIDEN Nah. I’ve got to get going. I just wanted to say hi. Caiden mentioned that she is too young. I’ve been weird but I’ve come around. Gotta let the paint dry. Let her know it’s all cool with me.
KIRINI I’ll tell her you stopped by.
AIDEN OK. And remember, come to our soft open tonight. New menu.
KIRINI Got it. Six, ok? Because I have to get back. We’re doing an open mic night.
AIDEN Yeah? Like, anybody?
KIRINI Open mic. Anybody.
AIDEN Maybe me and Caiden can work on some bits.
KIRINI Sure. Sure. You do that.
AIDEN OK.
KIRINI And good luck with the carrots and stuff.
AIDEN Breaking new ground. Thanks.
Aiden takes his coffee and leaves. Elsa looks out, sees Aiden gone.
KIRINI El, you OK there?
ELSA Ugh! That was close.
KIRINI You mean Aiden?
ELSA Yeah. He’s always lurking around, looking at me.
KIRINI He says Caiden told him that you are too young. He’s come around to that point of view. He wanted to tell you.
ELSA Thanks. He want’s to tell me I’m too young for him. How about, he’s too old for me.
KIRINI That too.
ELSA Whatev’s.
KIRINI How’s the coffee coming?
ELSA I’ve been working on some dark roasts, to get really intense flavors. I think people are really going to like it.
KIRINI Doesn’t taste burned, does it?
ELSA Kinda, but that’s kinda the po
KIRINI Well, Myra was working on lighter roasts and the people really noticed.
ELSA Yeah, so, Myra did it her way. I’m doing it my way.
KIRINI Alright. OK. I hear you. But listen, I’m going to give you some rope on this one. Make it how you like it. But! Listen to the feedback. If they want something different, our job is to give it to them.
ELSA They won’t know they want it until I give it to them.
KIRINI We give it to them. And now you sound just like Myra. Jeez! What did I get myself into?
ELSA Really? I sound like Myra?
KIRINI Yes. But remember, Myra graduated culinary school. She’d worked in hotels and restaurants. She had a ton of talent so when she wanted to make some crazy dish, I trusted her. And, and... usually it worked out. I mean, the conch fritters were not a hit. They were delicious! But people were scared of them. And you know what she did? She made Bluefish Tuna Sandwiches that we sold for three hundred dollars a plate. She delivered what people wanted.
ELSA But who could afford that?
KIRINI Who? Rich guys from New York and mobsters from Boston. But Myra and Sandra each took home ten grand that night.
ELSA Ten grand?! Ten thousand dollars?! For one night?
KIRINI Yep. And it was a bargain. She wanted to do it again, make it a regular thing.
ELSA So why did she leave?
KIRINI Because I said I didn’t want to make Sharkey’s into some place that does three hundred dollar lunches. I want it to be a place where people come in and see their friends, socialize, enjoy themselves.
ELSA And Myra didn’t want that?
KIRINI She deserves more than that. She was just slumming with us in the minor leagues. She’s going to the big time.
ELSA Can I do that?
KIRINI You want to do that?
ELSA Of course!
KIRINI Are you sure? Because I grew up in restaurants and I didn’t want to be running a restaurant. Myra wanted to explore food and culture, mix tradition and ingredients. Do you understand?
ELSA Of course! Like on TV, the chefs.
KIRINI No, not like on TV. On TV they want to be performers. Myra isn’t performing, she’s exploring.
ELSA I want to be on TV.
KIRINI Now that makes sense. As a chef?
ELSA I’m working on my observational comedy.
KIRINI Your what?
ELSA What time is the open mic? I want to do a spot.
KIRINI Really?
ELSA It’s some material I want to work out. I’m trying to put together a half hour set.
KIRINI A half-hour what?
ELSA It’s what the pros say you need to headline.
KIRINI Oh, you are headlining already?
ELSA No, I’m roasting coffee for a living right now. But a girl has to have dreams.
SHARKEY’S PLACE, EVENING
Sandra and Elsa are working the room. Boots is at the bar and Gordon comes in.
GORDON Mmmmm!
SANDRA Gordo? Beer here?
GORDON Mmmmm!
BOOTS Cat got your tongue, Captain?
GORDON It’s you.
SANDRA First Harpoon on the house, Captain.
GORDON Sandra, you are a goddess. An equal to ethereal nymphs in the water spouts. A rainbow above you and treasure at your feet.
BOOTS So she’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
GORDON Some deserve the crown of the queen. Others, only the horns of the demons.
BOOTS Oh, come off it, Gordo. You are the one who goes running off to your boat every morning.
GORDON My duty is to the sea. Poseidon. My ship. My crew. And my catch. I am grateful for the bounty of the sea. On land lays only temptation and perfidy.
BOOTS Sandra, I’m going to need some fortification for this. Another Hurricane, please.
SANDRA Coming up.
BOOTS And Captain, you can rest easy that your libido will have no temptations this week.
GORDON How is that?
BOOTS I’m heading to Toronto for a shoot this week.
GORDON A shoot?
BOOTS They want to make one of my books into a TV thing. They want to start with The Tin Anniversary but I think Steel Trap is a better place to start.
GORDON You are making movies?
BOOTS They are production meetings. We talk about the schedule, talk to the directors and meet the cast.
GORDON Who’s paying for all that?
BOOTS It’s a Canadian production company. I think they get some funding from the CBC.
SANDRA The CBC, they have good shows!
ELSA I liked that Anne of Green Gables one.
BOOTS Me too. She was so spunky.
GORDON I watch some of the whaling documentaries.
BOOTS Sure you do. Between showings of Top Gun and Boogie Nights.
GORDON What are you implying?
BOOTS Implying? I’m not implying anything. I’m simply stating that you like to have fresh flesh, on display. Whether it’s ’s oiled-up jocks, roller skating skin-queens or mullet and skipjack, fresh out of the net!
GORDON I am puzzled by your salaciousness.
BOOTS The world goes around and around, Captain. You should try it some time.
GORDON It sounds like you have personal knowledge of the lower orders of experience. I humbly submit to your cavalcade of innumerable excesses.
BOOTS Excesses?! As if anyone could out do you for excesses.
GORDON Occasional immoderation, but my duty is to Poseidon....
BOOTS Yes, yes! We know. Poseidon, your boat and your crew.
GORDON And the bounty of the sea.
SANDRA Say, Boots. So you are going to Canada? How long are you going for?
BOOTS I have five days of meetings but I think I may ‘loiter’ for a few days. A few days before and a few days after. Perhaps visit the library at Guelph.
SANDRA They got some good books there?
BOOTS Well, yes! They have all of mine, for one!
SANDRA Then they have good taste.
BOOTS But what I am interested in is their reading calendar. One of my favorites, Leigh Bardugo, is doing a reading from her book, Six of Crows, at the end of next week.
SANDRA Is he good?
BOOTS She. And better than good. Better than me. I’m jealous and I hate it. But I can’t pass up the chance to meet her.
SANDRA Are you going to tell her about your books?
BOOTS Well... that’s considered bad form, between writers. If one is important, one should assume that they are familiar with your work. Otherwise, one is not important.
SANDRA Are you important?
BOOTS Ha! Well, the CBC seems to think so.
SANDRA I’m sure you guys will get on great. Another Harp there, Cap?
GORDON You are inside of my mind and my heart, my dear.
SANDRA Gordo, why are you being so nice to me? Did you talk to Neil?
GORDON Neil left me a note, at the boathouse.
SANDRA What did he say?
GORDON It was what he didn’t say.
SANDRA Which is what?
GORDON He left a note that said the two paintings were for me. But he didn’t say how much.
SANDRA They are free. I told him.
GORDON A front and a back. Astonishing!
SANDRA I don’t know about astonishing, but I told him to give two to you. One to Kiri. But burn the extras, other than the ones for his guy at the speakeasy in Philadelphia.
GORDON Burn them?!
SANDRA Alexi was sniffing around for one. So was Turbo.
GORDON Turbo? Fuck that guy.
SANDRA That’s what I said. He’s been hassling Kirini about Elsa, so I’m like, fuck that guy.
ELSA Really?
BOOTS Yeah, fuck him.
ELSA Why?
BOOTS That guy, Turbo, has been a pain in Kiri’s ass, shoot, my ass!, Gordon’s ass, everybody’s ass!, for years. Fuck that guy!
ELSA But he wanted to hire me. My mother said I should come and work here instead.
BOOTS Smart mama.
SANDRA Good decision. You don’t want to work at the Squid. Good food, but no class. This place has class.
BOOTS And Kirini.
GORDON Bless her.
BOOTS And I must go. Early flight tomorrow.
GORDON Flight?
BOOTS Helicopter to Bangor. Then up and down into T-O.
SANDRA Safe travels.
BOOTS Say, Sandra. Can you be a pal? Give me a Hurricane, with wheels.
SANDRA Sounds like you want a Large Coffee, to go.
BOOTS Do I?
Sandra pours the Maine Hurricane cocktail into a Styrofoam coffee to-go cup.
SANDRA One, Large, walking.
BOOTS Thanks, girl.
Boots heads out.
SHARKEY’S PLACE EVENING
The stage is set up and the light is on the open mic.
Sandra comes forward for the intro.
SANDRA Goooooood evening, folks. Thanks for coming out to Sharkey’s Place for some open mic action. You are in for a treat tonight. We have Sharkey’s own, Elsa Godspeed in the lineup tonight. Give it up for the nineteen year old wunderkind!
Elsa makes her way to the stage. Sandra and Kirini watch from the side.
ELSA Hey folks. Thanks for coming out tonight. I'm Elsa Godspeed. Thank you, most recently at the Tastee Freeze ice cream shop. I recognize some familiar faceS, ha!
I had this one woman who was a regular. I won't name names because that's not nice. But Mrs. Staunton it's a really nice lady. But she's a big woman. And she comes in on Tuesdays for a double scoop of her favorite ice cream or whatever the special of the day. I'd pile it high with whipped cream.
And then I say, because we have to say, "would you like the Cherry On Top"? And you should have seen her face light up, every-single-time! Worked like a charm. "Would you like the cherry on top?" Oh yes! oh yes!
I mean, What about me? Can I get a cherry? Isn't that what we want out of life? We all want the Cherry! Can I get a cherry on top? Of course I want the Cherry On Top!
Mrs. Staunton is a really nice lady and I liked working there, because it made people happy. That's what we all want to do right? We want to make people happy.
Anyway. I had a boyfriend for a little while, when I was working there. He was a big Bruce Springsteen fan. You know Bruce. Bruuuce!
So one of his favorites was Darkness on the Edge of Town. He loved it. But I could never figure it out. Because I thought, what am I going to say to my father?
Daddy?
Yes dear?
Daddy, I'm going to go meet a boy.
Well, I guess you're growing up so perhaps that's appropriate now. Where you going?
He says if I want to see him, he's easy to find. He's in the darkness on the edge of town.
WHAT?! FUCK NO! You're not going to the darkness on the edge of town. My daughter is not going to be out there with some random hobo, in the Darkness at the Edge of Town! What are you thinking?
But Daddy?
You can stay in and peel potatoes. We got a lot of potatoes in Maine, you know. Stay in and peel a few potatoes! That's what you'll do.
But Daddy, he says we can go to California. He knows a little café, where they play guitars, all-night and all-day.
What? California?! No! Potatoes!
So that's my life now.
But I got a new book. Going to learn a few new things. I got it at Beth's Book Shop down the street. You know, support local. So now I spend my time reading, instead of going to see my boyfriend out at the edge of town.
It's called The Way of the Ninja. I think I could learn a few skills about being stealthy. How to get in a room or get away, and nobody notices.
But it's kind of how my life is anyway, so I'm not sure it's going to work. Walk in and out of rooms, nobody notices.
That's why I'm a big fan of Johnny Cash. You know Johnny Cash, The Man in Black! I want to be like him. I want my life to be like that, walk into a room and people say. "Sit up straight! It's the Man in Black. Big John is here!"
Wouldn't it be great to command that kind of attention? I want to know what life is like to walk through the world as the Man in Black. Tower of a man. Black hair. Put fear in people's heart when you just walk by. Wouldn't it be great?
But The Way of the Ninja is about being sneaky.
Women have to be sneaky. There's a whole section on using swords and knives to kill people. And as much as my mother bugs me, I don't think I could kill her. I don't think I could do it. Now maybe... maybe... but I don't think that I could cut her head off. At least not yet.
But Johnny Cash, he was keeping it real. He sang, "I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die." That is some cool, gangster stuff right there. Doesn't even have to be ninja. He's already in Black. He just walks up and shoots him. That's cold.
He had his outfit, whole black suit, black tie, probably black socks.
But where am I going to get a ninja outfit? In Maine? I'm going to have to make it myself.
I mean, I want the cherry on top, right? But life isn't going to just give me the cherry and whipped cream. I have to make my own clothes and peel potatoes. Do I get the whip cream and a cherry on top then?
I'm just trying to make other people happy. That's good, right? And I'm trying out a few ideas up here. It's fun. It makes me happy.
I just want to spend a couple nights up here and share a few thoughts. Thanks for letting me take a little of your time. Good night, folks. Thanks a lot
Elsa comes down from the stage. People applaud.
KIRINI That was great, hon!
SANDRA Oh, you’re a natural.
ELSA You think so?
SANDRA I know you’ll go far, kid.
ELSA Thanks, Miss Sandra.
KIRINI That’s enough for tonight, Elsa. You should head home.
ELSA OK. Thanks for saving the spot for me.
SANDRA Any time. Any time.
ELSA Good night.
Elsa exits
THE END.