Sharkey's Place: New York Style!

Sharkey's Place
Season 3, Episode 7
by Rick Regan
December 2022

INT. SHARKEY’S PLACE - MID-MORNING, GLOOMY DECEMBER DAY
Magdalena and Olivia are finishing up the coffee and burrito
service. The crowd has thinned out and they sit at a table
sipping coffee.
OLIVIA
Good shift this morning.
MAGDALENA
We give them what they want.
OLIVIA
Have you heard from Miss Kirini?
MAGDALENA
She texted. Said they got to New York. Flight leaves
this afternoon.
OLIVIA
So it’s an overnight, to Greece?
MAGDALENA
Yeah. She said she’s never been, even though her
family is from there.
OLIVIA
Where did she grow up?
MAGDALENA
Long Island. It’s part of New York City, I think. But
she told me that it was just a busy town and they had
a diner.
OLIVIA
Probably a nice place. She’s nice.
MAGDALENA
She is, but what is she doing with the Captain? He’s
at least ten years older. She could meet a younger,
handsome man. Maybe one of the Mexicans.
OLIVIA
For Miss Kirini? A Mexican? No. A Cuban? Maybe.
MAGDALENA
Ha! Yes, that’s it. She’d like some smooth Cuban man,
who dances like a river flows.
OLIVIA
You’re blood is up this morning, sister! Is your
Benny not husbanding you with a strong hand?

MAGDALENA
Too strong.
OLIVIA
Eh?
MAGDALENA
He wants me to come to work at the marina. He says
they need a person at the counter.
OLIVIA
Oh?
MAGDALENA
Yes, but I told him that I am going to cooking
school, coming up, and that I am going to be a
professional. Not just some shop clerk.
OLIVIA
What did he say?
MAGDALENA
He said I should do what the man of the house tells
me to do.
OLIVIA
That’s Benny.
MAGDALENA
I told him that we both wear trousers in this house,
because we are in America now, not Veracruz. I’m not
his mother.
OLIVIA
Good for you, Mag!
MAGDALENA
But he tried to beat me.
OLIVIA
What?! How?
MAGDALENA
He tried to slap my face. But I caught his arm. I
told him not to hit me.
OLIVIA
Did you hit him?
MAGDALENA
No. If I hit him, he will be enraged. He would kill
me. No, no.
OLIVIA
Kill you? You should leave him!
MAGDALENA
He is a sweet man. He doesn’t want to hurt me. He was
taking tequila, with his brother, and he was out of
his head. He was sorry this morning.
OLIVIA
Is it going OK at his work? Is he worried about
money?
MAGDALENA
He got an email from his sister. She said his mother
was sick. But we can’t afford to send him home to
look after her. We’re saving money to get a new
apartment. It would take everything we saved.
OLIVIA
So he gets mad at you? Does he blame you, for his
mother?
MAGDALENA
It is the humiliation for the man that he cannot do
what he wants. They get used to that, you know. They
can go where they want, do what they want. And what
do we say, we women? That he should not go? No,
because he is humbled by the poverty and will turn
that shame on me. But I can calm him.
OLIVIA
You have to finish school. So you can be free of him.
MAGDALENA
I don’t want to be free from him. I want to be
independent, stand on my own legs.
OLIVIA
You do that.
MAGDALENA
Yes, but more.
OLIVIA
I know what you mean.
Aiden comes to the door and pops his head in.
AIDEN
Open? Too late for food?
MAGDALENA
(getting up)
Come. I saved one for you.
AIDEN
Eh, gonna need two. Caiden is with me.
OLIVIA
(getting up)
Come in. Get warm. I’ll get you some coffee.
Aiden enters, followed by Caiden. They are both cold.
CAIDEN
That’s good of you. Raw day about.
OLIVIA
(bringing coffee)
Are you coming from the Squid?
AIDEN
Doing prep since dawn. The fish, you know.
CAIDEN
Taking a breather, get some air.
AIDEN
And a burrito!
CAIDEN
Burritos!
MAGDALENA
(bringing wrapped burritos)
Here, for you.
OLIVIA
How is it going with the fish?
MAGDALENA
Are they still alive?
AIDEN
They’re a lot of work. Feeding.
CAIDEN
Cleaning the tank, the water.
AIDEN
But it’s going, you know.
MAGDALENA
How many did you get?
AIDEN
About two-hundred-and-fifty. Give or take.
MAGDALENA
And you catch them and then cook them?
OLIVIA
Per order?
CAIDEN
We started with that but...
AIDEN
The catching took longer,
CAIDEN
Than was practical. Customer wait times,
AIDEN
Negatively impacted.
CAIDEN
And per-plate revenue,
AIDEN
Got compressed.
OLIVIA
So what do you do now?
CAIDEN
We know the typical order count.
AIDEN
Like a Tuesday night, usually thirty to forty fishand-chips.
CAIDEN
So we clean and dress them in the morning. And put
‘em on ice.
OLIVIA
Why not just get them cleaned from the fish monger?
AIDEN
Timing is everything. Fresher.
CAIDEN
We take a day, maybe two, out of the trip to the
plate. Fresher.
AIDEN
Helps us stand out. Because if it was any fresher,
CAIDEN
It would swim away. Now we can prove it.
MAGDALENA
But that adds work for you in the morning. Is it
worth it?
AIDEN
We save around thirty-five percent by buying the fish
live.
CAIDEN
Add our labor, well, we’re going to be doing prep
anyway. Oysters, clams, mussels.
AIDEN
Cleaning forty fish, adds another ninety minutes.
CAIDEN
But we can come here for a burrito!
AIDEN
And coffee!
MAGDALENA
And the love of women.
OLIVIA
(chuckles)
Yeah, don’t forget that!
AIDEN
I admit that the distinctive wah-mth,
CAIDEN
Hospitality,
AIDEN
And affection,
CAIDEN
Always draws us back here.
AIDEN
Not like the Honk'R'Stop.
CAIDEN
Shady characters.
AIDEN
Cops and robbers over there.
MAGDALENA
It is a crazy system...
OLIVIA
Do you put lobsters in the tank with the cod?
AIDEN
Oh, heck no!
CAIDEN
If we put the lobsters in there, we’d never catch
them.
AIDEN
Shifty characters. We need them in the shallow tank.
CAIDEN
Also, different salinities.
AIDEN
Right.
MAGDALENA
All that work, for fried fish filets. You could throw
them in frozen and no one could tell the difference.
AIDEN
We consider ourselves to be experimenting with the
form.
CAIDEN
Going beyond the common boundaries, typical
expectation.
AIDEN
And out on the frontier, the results can be
unexpected.
CAIDEN
A fresh perspective.
AIDEN
Us both being highly trained culinary professionals,
CAIDEN
Seasoned veterans,
AIDEN
Our methods may, at first, appear strange,
CAIDEN
Odd, to the casual viewer.
AIDEN
But,
CAIDEN
And this is important,
AIDEN
We are seeking to discover what is possible,
CAIDEN
Beyond the merely practical,
AIDEN
Beyond the usual expedient solutions.
CAIDEN
And perhaps our unorthodox approach earns nothing but
scorn,
AIDEN
Or abject failure.
CAIDEN
We will know that we have gone farther and done more,
AIDEN
In the service of the industry,
CAIDEN
And the customer, to deliver the unexpected delights
of dining.
MAGDALENA
But it’s still fried fish.
AIDEN
But the best fried fish.
CAIDEN
The best. Fresher.
OLIVIA
I think it’s remarkable. Really doing it.
MAGDALENA
I think it’s ridiculous. Live fish.
AIDEN
Mags, I understand your skepticism.
CAIDEN
The intractability and aversion to change.
AIDEN
Very common position. But we will try, and succeed,
CAIDEN
Or fail,
AIDEN
But either way, we will have broken some new ground,
here in Milbridge, Maine.
MAGDALENA
(affronted)
Intractability? Aversion to change?
OLIVIA
Not you specifically, Mags. They are pioneers. Of
course they are going to seem odd. The odder, the
better, for me.
MAGDALENA
Well, not for me, thank you very much.
CAIDEN
Brother, we should go.
AIDEN
Yes, brother.
CAIDEN
Thank you both for your hospitality.
AIDEN
Can we come back for beers, later?
OLIVIA
We’d be lacking without you.
AIDEN
Olivia, may I say, your kindness warms me on this
cold day.
OLIVIA
I am glad you are warmed.
CAIDEN
Possibly overheated.
AIDEN
Charmed, nonetheless.
CAIDEN
Perhaps Harpoons after service. Thanks.
Aiden and Caiden exit.
MAGDALENA
Those two are idiots.
OLIVIA
Yes, but kind of cute too.
MAGDALENA
Oh, don’t start with that. You go home and rest up.
I’ll clean up here. See you later.
OLIVIA
Right. Later.
Olivia exits.
Magdalena cleans up the counter and around the tables. She
collects the money in the cash register and puts it in an
envelope, sliding it into a security box below.
The door opens and a woman enters. She stands and looks
around with a sharp eye.
MAGDALENA
(seeing her)
Oh! Sorry. We are closed now. We reopen at five.
KATERINI
I see. Who are you?
MAGDALENA
Excuse me? Who are you?
KATERINI
(walking over, extending
hand)
I am Kirini’s sister, Katerini. I came up from New
York. You know where that is?
MAGDALENA
(staring at the hand)
Yes, of course. Everyone knows where is New York.
KATERINI
Kiri sent me up her to look after the place while she
takes her vacation in Greece.
MAGDALENA
That is what she told you?
KATERINI
Just some time away.
MAGDALENA
You don’t understand. The Captain has to sacrifice
Kirini, on the temple of Poseidon.
KATERINI
Oh really? Why?
MAGDALENA
Because the sea-god commanded it. He must!
KATERINI
(skeptical)
Right. And the mermaids will swim up to save them
both.
MAGDALENA
No. I don’t think the mermaids are involved...
KATERINI
He’s going to propose, you dummy. It’s all a romantic
gesture. He’ll propose, then they will have a quick
wedding in Greece. They will come back married.
MAGDALENA
She told you this?
KATERINI
No, of course not. But what other explanation is
there?
MAGDALENA
That he must sacrifice her at the temple.
KATERINI
No, I mean, other than that?
MAGDALENA
That is the reason!
KATERINI
Of course it is. Of course. Anyway, I’m here now.
MAGDALENA
But I am in charge while she is gone.
KATERINI
Sorry, no. Can’t have two bosses. I’m from New York.
We don’t do it that way.
MAGDALENA
So, what do you mean?
KATERINI
Well, I mean, you can stay or you can go, but I’m in
charge now. Until she gets back.
MAGDALENA
I don’t believe you.
KATERINI
No? Tell me, why would I come here, all the way out
to the back end of Egypt, in December, to this little
outhouse? Hmm? Why would I waste my time coming here?
MAGDALENA
She didn’t say anything to me about it.
KATERINI
She called me from JFK. Asked if I would come up and
look in on the place.
MAGDALENA
OK. So you have looked. Everything is OK. Now you can
go.
KATERINI
Maybe you should go. I’m in charge until she gets
back. Can you handle that? ‘Cause, if not, there’s
the door.
MAGDALENA
(pauses)
Well... OK. If Miss Kirini said so.
KATERINI
Now we’re getting somewhere. Can you show me around?
MAGDALENA
Um, this is pretty much it. Tables, chairs, bar. The
kitchen is in back and the office is behind that
wall. Not much to it but we do a good business.
KATERINI
I’m sure. What’s your daily take?
MAGDALENA
Daily-what?
KATERINI
How much do you make in a day? How much in beer? In
tips? In food?
MAGDALENA
I don’t know. I just collect the money and put it in
the security box.
KATERINI
Come on! You have to know these things. In New York
we follow every nickel, every penny. Keep an eye on
the front of the house, and the back.
MAGDALENA
Oh, I see.
KATERINI
In New York, you’ve got to watch the cash register
and the receipt tape. Make sure it adds up at the end
of the night. Who does the cash out, you?
MAGDALENA
What do you mean?
KATERINI
Who reconciles the accounts, and takes the money to
the bank at night?
MAGDALENA
I just put the money in the box.
KATERINI
What about your suppliers? Do you have lines of
credit or is it cash on delivery?
MAGDALENA
What do you mean?
KATERINI
(frustrated)
The beer?! How do you pay the guy who brings the
beer?
MAGDALENA
At the end of the month, she writes him a check.
KATERINI
Once a month?! In New York it’s weekly, sometimes
daily. You couldn’t get away with that in the City.
MAGDALENA
Yes, I suppose not.
KATERINI
(pointing)
What’s that? Why is that there?
MAGDALENA
That’s the stage. We pull it down. Sometimes we have
acts, performers.
(laughs)
Miss Kirini had a Tarot reading by my sister! It was
great!
KATERINI
Tarot? Your sister? Does she dance?
MAGDALENA
Oh yes! She’s very good.
KATERINI
On the pole? She make good tips?
MAGDALENA
No tips. It’s line dancing. Sometimes she does
Zoomba.
KATERINI
No, no, no. In New York, the girl dances on the pole.
The stiffs put money in her waistband, depending on
the girl. If it’s a hund-y, she’ll slide it aside and
give him the full view. That’s making money.
MAGDALENA
No! We don’t have that!
KATERINI
You do now. I’m here to bring a more modern, New York style to this place.
If your sister is hot, she can rake in some cash. Tell her to put the word out, get
her friends to dance.
MAGDALENA
No! She will not do this.
KATERINI
Well then are you going to hit the pole? Because
we’ve got to get things going around here. I only
strip for private parties, not some low-rent shack in
Maine. But somebody will.
MAGDALENA
I tell you this because I want to help you. Go to the
Honk’R’Stop. Tell the woman there what you want. She
will know who to call. But I make breakfast and
coffee, not dancing.
KATERINI
The Honk-or-Stop?
MAGDALENA
Right.
KATERINI
And a pole. Who can put in a pole for us?
MAGDALENA
I will call Sam, the Butcher. He will know who to
send.
KATERINI
(worried)
Sammy the Butcher? Who is he?
MAGDALENA
The Butcher. He sells meat.
KATERINI
Really? Weird!
Magdalena goes into the office to call Sam the Butcher.
KATERINI (CONT’D)
Well, let’s get started.

INT. SHARKEY’S PLACE - EVENING, SEVERAL DAYS LATER
The place is full of sailors and workers, all men. The stage
is down and a chrome pole goes to the ceiling. A young woman
in hot pants and a tube-top dances around the pole, dancing
to the music. The music is electro-dance music, with pulsing
beat and choppy sounds.
Olivia is circulating in the crowd pouring cups of beer.
Everyone is watching the woman on stage and vaguely dancing
to the music.
Instead of putting money in the woman’s waistband, there is a
fishbowl on the stage, stuffed with cash. Every few minutes
Katerini cycles by and picks up the cash and replaces the
fish bowl empty. Katerini goes back to run the cash register.
Aiden and Caiden come in, staring at the scene.
OLIVIA
I don’t have any tables for you, guys. But I can get
you a beer.
CAIDEN
What’s become of the place?
AIDEN
Hardly recognize. But, a couple of Harps.
Olivia has a pitcher of beer and cups. She fills two cups.
She hands them to the guys.
OLIVIA
New system, pay as you go, or all you want for forty
bucks.
AIDEN
No tabs?
OLIVIA
New system. She says it is New York style.
CAIDEN
No wonder I stay in Maine. Here, a pair of twenties.
Just keep ‘em coming.
AIDEN
You make money that way? Does it work out?
OLIVIA
I guess. New boss, new system. You got the forty?
AIDEN
Eh, sure.
(gives her two twenties)
OLIVIA
I gotta keep moving. Wave when you want another.
Olivia moves through the crowd filling cups with beer.
CAIDEN
(looking at cup)
A New York system huh?
AIDEN
I would say it is ‘over optimized’.
CAIDEN
Cutting corners.
AIDEN
Cheap beer. No bottles. They took out the liquor too.
Just beer foam.
CAIDEN
Doesn’t seem like this is what Kirini had in mind.
AIDEN
Changes the whole character of the place.
OLIVIA
Fill up?
AIDEN
Sure. Say what’s with the girls?
CAIDEN
The dancing? Are they strippers?
OLIVIA
They are all friends of Heather.
AIDEN
From the Honk’r?
OLIVIA
Yeah. New boss wanted to put some dancing girls up
there. She called Heather and put out the word that
they could make some quick cash. Heather sent a dozen
local girls over. She has them on a rotating schedule
for the week.
CAIDEN
What’s the take home for something like that?
OLIVIA
Katerini guarantees two hundred a night for each
girl. First night was pretty slow but she covered
them. Next night, packed. They each cleared over
three-fifty. Tonight should be around that.
AIDEN
What about you? You don’t get tips if it’s pre-pay,
right?
OLIVIA
I get a share with the dancers, just not as much.
AIDEN
Is it worth it, the money?
OLIVIA
Not to work in this place. I’ve got to find someplace
else to go. Maybe back to Norfolk. This is bullshit.
CAIDEN
A hard transition. When’s Kirini back?
AIDEN
Don’t you remember? Gordon has to sacrifice her on
the altar in the temple!
CAIDEN
He’ll throw some coins in the fountain.
OLIVIA
This was a nice place, you know. Clean, safe. But
this... Stupid. Later the drunks will start fighting.
AIDEN
But are they, you know, stripping?
OLIVIA
No, not technically. It’s not licensed for that. They
just take off as much as they can and still be
dressed.
CAIDEN
Might be worth it.
OLIVIA
It’s not. Trust me.
CAIDEN
She’s cute.
OLIVIA
She just dropped out of high school. That’s how
Heather knows them all. The smokers, the pot heads.
Who knows what else?
AIDEN
How is Heather? Haven’t been by there since you’ve
been making coffee in the morning.
OLIVIA
No more coffee, by the way. Just beer and sweaty
girls. I think Heather gets a cut too, to keep
sending fresh ones. Gross.
CAIDEN
No more coffee? No burritos? What’s Magdalena doing?
OLIVIA
She said it was immoral and sinful. She took a job as
a clerk with Benny at the Marina. I’ll be gone by the
weekend. I doubt the Queen will even notice. She’ll
just get one of the lollipops to pour beer. Look, you
see?
(indicating the dancer on stage)
If a guy has a ten or a twenty, she tells him not to
put it in the bowl. He shoves it into her top.
CAIDEN
But how can they split the money then?
OLIVIA
That’s it. They are already cheating each other.
AIDEN
And you!
OLIVIA
And me!
Katerini comes over, angry.
KATERINI
The hell are you doing? Who are these dopes?
OLIVIA
They’re regulars.
KATERINI
Yeah? You pay up?
AIDEN
Yeah. Two twenties. Funny system.
KATERINI
It’s cleaner this way. You know what you’re getting,
and we get the money. Value for the dollar.
CAIDEN
Kirini know you changed all of this?
KATERINI
She’s on her honeymoon. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass
about this place right now. Probably getting it, for
the third time today.
AIDEN
Yeah, but you changed the whole place around.
KATERINI
You know what changed? Profitability. Sustainability.
A New York-style sharp sensibility. We’re making more
money than ever. She’ll thank me. She better.
AIDEN
Looks like you got it all figured out. How long you
staying in Maine? Don’t they need you back down south
in New York?
CAIDEN
How are they getting along without you?
AIDEN
They are probably ripping you off right now.
CAIDEN
Terrible people.
OLIVIA
More beer there, boys?
CAIDEN
Sure.
AIDEN
Sure!
KATERINI
Anyway, thanks for coming in.
(turns)
Chumps!
AIDEN
Listen, Olivia, if you are looking for a different
situation,
CAIDEN
A new position,
AIDEN
We’ve got opportunities,
CAIDEN
At The Squid.
OLIVIA
Yeah?
AIDEN
Yeah.
CAIDEN
Maybe you don’t rake in the dough,
AIDEN
Like here,
CAIDEN
But it’s clean,
AIDEN
Safe. You know?
CAIDEN
That’s worth something.
Olivia looks through the crowd at the stage. A drunken sailor
is trying to slide the dancers elastic shorts down to insert
a five dollar bill in her g-string.
OLIVIA
Let me think about it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
AIDEN
Great. We’ll talk.
CAIDEN
We’ll talk.
AIDEN
Brother, you know...
CAIDEN
Brother?
AIDEN
Due to your own recent encounter with the Milbridge
constabulary, on account of fighting in a bar,
CAIDEN
This bar, in fact.
AIDEN
Perhaps it would be prudent for us to withdraw for
the evening.
CAIDEN
But the fighting is about to start! I can feel it!
AIDEN
It’s just the beer going to your head. Let’s beat it.
CAIDEN
Good night, Olivia. I’m sorry about all of this.
OLIVIA
Me too, Caiden.
Aiden and Caiden exit. Olivia goes back to the bar to fill
the pitcher and then back into the crowd while the music
bumps and the dancer shimmies.
END